It only happens around two or three times per jog, but I don't like people passing me up when I'm running; I immediately get tired and deflated, so I make up excuses to make me feel better about myself. Like this . . .
"God bless! I feel like a champ. Legs are holding up well and -
(Runner whizzes by Dr. Ken)
oh shit, look at this guy flying by me. But, you know, he's nose-to-toes in spandex, so he doesn't count cause he's all hardcore and stuff, so I'm good. I guess . . . except for this little pebble in my shoe. How is it that they start to feel like boulders after a while . . .
(yet another jogger passes him up)
"Son of a . . . who does this guy think he is? Oh, but wait. I saw this same fucker walking a little ways back, so he must be doing some sort of stop-start circuit training or cross training or what-have-you. What is the difference between circuit and cross training anyhow? Oh well, I still feel all right, except I'm getting a little chafing action on my inner thigh. Is that because I have fat thighs or something? I don't think I do. Maybe I need to lube up with Vaseline down there before I . . .
(Again, another runner blows by him)
"- oh, what the hell! And this is a woman! And she's old. Older than baseball, this one! This is humiliating. But . . . If she's old, odds are she's been running a long time. Experience goes a long way in the running game, I'm told."
How's about you, Seven Readers? Does anyone use any positive/negative self-talk to get you through the day? ?
7 comments:
When you're older than shit, like me, you get a lot of people blowing by you when you run. But you stop caring, because of course they're blowing by you! You're older than shit. Really, I'm just glad I'm still capable of visibly "running."
i pep talk myself constantly! also i have a mental playlist of all the great training montage/ final battle songs ["youre the best! around!" "fight to surviiiiiive"] that i draw upon when i im really feeling down. it sounds like a fake thing to do, but it helps me out a lot during exams.
When I am feeling down I challenge my 7-month-old son to best of 3 arm wrestling challenge. After I take care of business I feel pretty good about myself. And when I am feeling really, really low I blindfold the fat basset and take him on in a 40-yard dash. By the time he gets the blindfold I am already crossing the finish line. Awesome.
Um, well when I run, it's dark....so nobody sees me, and nobody in their right mind is out whizzing past me because i'm the only idiot out there...makes me feel more diehard than those pansy day runners! ;)
~hl~
{www.hoscorners.blogspot.com}
I have a spin instructor that when thing get tough, and she's in the middle of effectively kicking our ass into next Tuesday, yells out "YES YOU CAN."
That always gives me a kick in the ass. I love her, but not THAT kind of love...You know.
5000: Older than shit. Hahahaha!
Jov: Do you have the Rocky theme in your noggin? I love that one.
Shife: Does little Shife usually take one of the three in the arm wrestling matches?
Lyn: Yeah, I like the night runs. Less people out means less to pass me.
Jenni: Would have been a better story if you were in love with the spin instructor.
Why would you like the night runs? Oh, you mean running at night. I get it.
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