Wednesday, January 12, 2011

As I Walked Into the Bathroom At a Nationwide Sub Sandwich Chain . . .


. . . I said to myself, "This place smells like 200% of the ass of a 400 pound silverback gorilla on a hot and sweaty jungle afternoon."

I just thought it was an interesting analogy that I should share with you, my Seven Readers, primarily to see what Gorilla Bananas, one of my most loyal commenters, would say in response.

7 comments:

Andrew said...

You really are in a weird mood tonight.

A co-worker & I went to Applebee's tonight since she had never been before (...) & there was a song playing with these ridiculous fart noises. We busted out laughing & seemed to be the only people who noticed it.

Awkward.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Humans are by far the sweatiest of all the primates! Why do you think you lost most of your body hair? So you could keep yourself cool in arid climates by drinking and sweating like horses!

My own ass perspiration smells like rosewood. Women and female gorillas have fainted in pleasure after smelling my butt.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Andrew: Fart noises make most any song more fun. Well, to me, but I have the mind of a middle school BD kid.

GB: Yes! I knew you'd deliver, and what you say is true!!!!

Mr. Shife said...

Oh the joys of walking into a public restroom and almost gagging because somebody's swamp butt has decided to take up residence there. And your analogy is awesome.

b.burjan said...

well. i'd say that silverback in that pic looks as if he's ready to be mounted. but i'm sure he's one of those gay silverbacks.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Shifey: Swamp butt! Yes! That's exactly what it was. How does that smell stay in there so long after they left? That kind of duration is impressive.

Burjan: He is looking to get mounted, but I think it's a trick. He's bating you in there, and then he turns you around and gets the best of you.

Michael5000 said...

I mean, I fucking HATE to ask the obvious, but how do you know what 200% of the ass of a 400 pound silverback gorilla on a hot and sweaty jungle afternoon smells like?

Actually, don't answer that.