Monday, January 10, 2011

Today's Facebook Status Is . . .

"I still ride my shopping cart like a skateboard, and I don't care if I look like an overgrown kid because it's just plain faster; deal with it, haters."

It's true. I'm impatient, and I just don't care how stupid it may look to some folks. Also, it's more fun, and I'm all about fun. It's one of the joys of doing things alone; of being alone. There's no pain-in-the-ass significant other (and no, that's not directed at anyone in particular, just partners in general) telling me to stop acting like a damn dumb ass. Guess what? I'm-a-be a dumb-dumb any time I damn please - no fun police allowed.

I also like cooking for myself because I can just throw together any old kind of shit that I have leftover, and sometimes it tastes kind of so-so, but who cares? As long as it's healthy-ish, I'll choke it down, and I don't have to please anyone.

I'm also not on anyone else's schedule. I almost never have to skip a workout, miss catching up on work, and I can spend a token night watching fights taped on my DVR, read 200 pages in a book, or write useless crap like this on my blog for you fine folks.

Speaking of you fine folks, what are some things that my Seven Readers enjoy about being alone?

9 comments:

Andrew said...

Being able to sleep when I want.

Being able to go shopping when it's convenient.

Singing as loud & as off-key as I want (this might be my favorite part).

Masturbating.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Andrew: Hahha. Fine contributions, buddy!

Gorilla Bananas said...

You've got to be alone when you're watching a scary movie. Watching it with other people is just gay. You don't have to be alone when you masturbate, though.

Scott Oglesby said...

There’s nothing better than drinking coffee late at night and staying up for hours and hours reading. Or watching total guy movies all day. The Rocky, Fight Club, Goodfellas, The Departed and No Country marathon!

BeckEye said...

I'm the opposite of Gorilla Bananas. I don't think a horror movie is any fun unless you watch it with a pack of people to make fun of it with.

Now, sad movies I like watching alone. Because I always cry and I rarely cry in "real life," so I don't like people seeing me sobbing.

radioactive girl said...

I love that you do that. Life is way too short to waste it doing things in a boring way.

Also, apparently I have been doing married all wrong. I guess I was a moron because he did whatever he wanted and I truly didn't care (until that last little part where he didn't take care of me when I needed him and went and did what he did). I guess next time I need a balance. I don't like to feel trapped but it's also nice to have someone around to have fun with. Why does this all have to be so hard?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gorilla: The apes are always the experts on masturbating. And poop flinging.

Beck: Crying in front of others at movies is brutal. I only have a couple of those in my history. Horror movies alone can be pretty sweet when the movie is awesome, like Rob Zombie's Halloween; Watched that alone the other day.

Radio: That was a very sad comment. : (
Hope you're okay. Send me an email if you need an ear.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Andrew said...

I much prefer watching horror movies alone, but then I sometimes get freaked out & think my roommate is going to catch me finding his dildos laying about in the basement & I'll get killed.