Wednesday, December 14, 2011

CS'er and MF'er

I had a bad experience being put on hold for too long and jerked around last night trying to get something from an airline, and it occurred to me that I knew the answer: CS'er and MF'er them!

I knew a guy once who said that if you ever want to get people on the phone to see things your way, even when they've been trained to screw you is say those magic two phrases as many times as possible.

Example:

Dr. Ken: Hey, I'm getting a little pissed here.

Operator: Sir, try to remain calm.

Dr. Ken: Yeah, I've been calm. Now I'm MF'ing pissed.

Operator: I understand, but I've told you that we can't refund your . . .

Dr. Ken: Oh, you'll refund my MF'ing money, or you'll put me on with your supervisor, and that CS'er will refund my MF'ing money

Operator: Umm . . . okay, I'll connect you . . .

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You see? It's just that easy! Now, I'm not saying you should all excessively CS and MF all through out your day. That would just be rude and crazy like a Tourette's guy, but there are those desperate times where those wonderfully offensive phrases will get you what you MF'ing want out of those dirty CS'ers.

7 comments:

sybil law said...

So you did it? And it worked? Awesome!

radioactive girl said...

If you really did this and it really worked that is awesome. Did it? Either way it is hilarious!

Gorilla Bananas said...

It's a pity such words are necessary to make people take you seriously, but that's the nature of the age we live in (as Kirk and Spock discovered in Star Trek IV).

Mr. Shife said...

I am going to try this on the little man when he refuses to brush his teeth or go to sleep. Thanks Dr. Ken, you are a magnificent MF'er.

Andrew said...

One time when I worked at the movie theater I had a lady get mad at me (I don't remember why. It was probably something stupid like not selling her kid an R-rated movie ticket) & said she was going to complain about me. I told her to wait a minute, wrote down the name of the manager & the phone number of the theater, & told her to have a great day. She didn't end up ever following through with complaining about me.

Sometimes, you can MF & CS to get your way, but other times you're dealing with people like me, who are like the Nasty-Ass Honey Badger: we just don't give a shit.

The Belligerent Barista said...

At the coffee shop where I'm a supervisor at, we're trained to essentially beg people to take free stuff if they complain about something. Your tactic would probably work there, Dr. Ken.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Sybil: Nah. I didn't have to. This time . . .

Radio: Nah. I don't have the guts to really CS and MF people.

Gorilla: Those two CS'd and MF'd people? I need to see that one.

Andrew: Oh, I would never say such words to a Honey Badger. That thing will bite my head off, have a nap, and eat the rest of me.

Belligerent: I'm going to CS and MF my way into a caffeinated heart attack!