Tales From The Hood: Volume 16

Sorry it's been a while, but I think you'll like this hood tale, 7 readers.

So, the dude I'm talking to has like the biggest hands of all time, like a couple of catcher's mitts, and the other gal is a really nice lesbian chick. They were asking if one Caucasian gal who came by who I know from previous gigs was my "shorty," and if I gave her a kiss on the way out. I told Catcher's Mit that it's not like that, but then they got asking if I did have a girlfriend. These two could not fathom that I'm faithfully in a long-distance relationship. I think Nice Lesbian has had some rough times because she urged me to just go ahead and have my fun because she'll probably hurt me. Catcher's Mit thought I should do the same, but for different reasons (he claims to have bedded 4 girls in that office alone).

Being one of the only white guys around, I naturally get compared to the other couple white guys. They asked if my girlfriend is good-looking and wanted to see a picture. Catcher's Mit told me that he saw White Guy #1's GF, and she was "ugly as hell" to the point where White Guy #1 made a face showing Catcher's Mit the picture that was as if to say, "Yeah. She looks like that." I asked what White Guy #2's lady friend looked like, to which Catcher's Mit said, "She's a bad muthafucka!" For those of you who don't know, that's good.

I sincerely did want to show them a picture, but as I cycled through my phone, none of them were appropriate. Either way, I'm sure Catcher's Mit would deem her an equally bad muthafucka. I know to me she's bad as hell.