Hurry Up and Buy Your Kid a Vibrator Today!

Get a load of this story.  That's me writing again in italics at the end of it.  Look at this kid just buzzing away  . . .

Vibrator For Children

Mattel recently introduced the "Harry Potter Broomstick". It's a battery-powered toy that resembles the flying Nimbus 2000 brooms from the Harry Potter movies. For added effect, the broom makes "flying noises" and vibrates. After a while on the market, concerned parents noticed that mostly young girls seemed to enjoy the toy - especially the vibrating part... Here are some of the customer reviews from the Toys R Us website: Reviewer: A toy enthusiast from NJ This toy was #1 on my daughter's Christmas list. So what the heck, although it has no educational value I figured it would be good for imaginative play. It wasn't until after she opened her gift and started playing with it that I realized that the toy may offer a more than sensational experience. The broomstick has cute sound effects and ***VIBRATES*** when they put it between their legs to fly. Come on---what were the creators of this toy thinking? She'll keep playing with the Nimbus 2000, but with the batteries removed. Reviewer: Ashley from TX My 12 year old daughter is a big Harry Potter fan, and loved the part with the Nimbus 2000, so I decided to buy her this toy. I was afraid she would think it was too babyish, but she LOVES this toy. Even my daughter's friends enjoy playing with this fun toy. I was surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and play with this magic broomstick! A great buy for any Harry Potter fan! :) Reviewer: A toy enthusiast from Maine, USA I recently bought this for my son, Vantro. He's a HUGE Harry Potter fan. Seen the movie 32 times (in the theaters) and made the paper. This toy gives him the ability to fly around the house zapping things. My only problem I see with the toy is the batteries drain too fast and his sister fights him over it, so now I need to buy her one. Reviewer: poola13 from Ohio When my 12 year old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too! I reccomend this for all children.   ------------------------------------------------ As you know, here at The Gancer I have found a number of wild stories over the years, but this one is just nuts.  I like how the first parent noticed that the thing is a giant broomstick vibrator, but then all these other parents seemed to think it was perfectly okay for their kid to sit there with the thing between their legs in their bedroom, especially the 17-year-old.   We really don't need to get kids hooked on masturbating when they're 5.  That's what adolescence is for.   Wait, do you think that adult nerds buy this thing and pretend to be horny-ass witches?  That's even scarier to think about than kids masturbating . . .