My girlfriend and I finally made it through the two years of a long-distance relationship while she was in graduate school.  I picked her up the other night from the airport, and we moved her stuff into my crummy apartment that is now our crummy apartment.

This morning I woke up and thought of something funny to text her, and while reaching to my right to grab my phone, I saw that she was right there to my left - next to me in bed.  Forever.

I pulled her in close, she scooted her behind in close to me, and we went back to sleep in each other's arms.  

I forgot what I wanted to tell her.  I'm sure it wasn't important.  

4 Granparents. One Chocolate Factory

At the bar tonight, somehow we got talking about Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971), and of course we talked about the oompa loompas, the everlasting gobstopper, and how they killed kids off like whacking goons on "The Sopranos." However, the new information that was revealed by my good friend, Douglas Morrison, was that all FOUR of Charlie's grandparents slept in the same bed.

This begs some questions . . .

1. How did this come about? Who really owned the house, and how are you going to let both sets of in laws live there?

2. Was anyone fuckin', and how much lube were they using? Did Charlie have to come in there once a week with a fresh bucket of Astro Glide? We need to know these things!

3. Does anyone remember this, as I can find no facts about this on the internet. Well, I probably could, but I'm all full and drunk on Belgian beer and ready for bed. With my grandparents.

4. Huh?

Pain Cage

I was watching Jim Rome, and don't laugh because I like to watch manly sports stuff while I work out. Anyway, his "Final Burn" was about a mixed martial arts cage bed (click for link) that you can not only get for your kid, but they have them in adult size.

Who in the shit is putting their kid in a jail every night, and what crazy ass adult is getting one of those? Ladies, if you went back to a guy's apartment, what would you say if he opened the bedroom door and said, "Step inside the Pain Cage?"