1. It's way better to hear a 90's cover band than hear a bunch of shitty Irish music. Nobody actually likes to hear that crap, do they? Everyone would rather hear Greenday, Nirvana, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and Smashing Pumpkins than listen to "Danny Boy."
2. If you're nice to your cabbie, he'll pull into a gas station so you can get a diet Pepsi and some chips.
3. If you get off the sauce for a bit and have a diet Pepsi and some chips, you can stay out a little longer.
4. Sing-a-longs at a party are great fun when you have talented people playing guitar and piano and an astrophysicist on harmonica.
5. If a guy is trying to close the deal with a chick, and she grabs your nuts on the way to the bathroom, that's a pretty good sign that your buddy will score. However, she might not be girlfriend material.
