I Was Looking Over My Text Messages Today . . .

. . . and I saw one from Saturday night that read "Look to your left.  Matching sushi shirts."

My sister and I were out for sushi at a nice bring your own wine place enjoying a cool and crisp chardonnay (any cheap Chard' tastes like butter to me), and sure enough, to my left were a pair of nerdy twenty-somethings with matching shirts with pictures of sushi on them that read "That's how I roll."  She texted me this information because didn't want to say it out loud because they were one foot away from us.  We had a hard time not laughing, and I had to run off to the bathroom because it was just so damned goofy.

When their order came I saw that the shirts didn't lie because they had in front of them more sushi than any two humans should be able to consume in one sitting.  I texted my sister back, "We should have asked them what they got before we ordered because they God damned professionals."  

We had a good time.  I love weirdos.  Takes one to know one, I suppose.  

Sushi for One Is Like . . . The Wind

I was wore out after a long work day, and all I wanted to do was park the car, get something to eat, and pass out.  I didn't want to wait for something to be delivered, so I went to the sushi place across the street from my apartment and got a table for one.  That is fine with me.  I don't care that there are a few couples in there, a couple of ladies together drinking wine, and then a table of newly 21-year-olds talking about buying beer.  That's fine.  I'm a grown-ass man and can eat by myself.

Then suddenly, when moments ago I didn't even take notice what songs were playing, I hear the first few notes of "She's Like the Wind" by Patrick Swayze, and now it feels really awkward being alone.  What a terrible, awful, melodramatic song, and with no one to laugh at it with, it just made me feel pathetic there alone, swirling my wasabi and soy in a lonely pattern.



Then it got worse.  They played "Picture" by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow, a song that my long distance girlfriend, who is right now a long distance away, have sang a bunch of times in numerous karaoke bars all across Chicago.  I know it's kind of a corny song, but it's also a pretty good one; and when it means something to you, the lyrics are suddenly profound.  Like the two in the song, I wanted to call her up to tell her I love her and to come back home.  I had to settle up the bill and get the hell out of there before I started crying into my sushi, blaming it on the ginger.

We had all summer together, and when she is done with these last 3 quarters of school, we'll be back together for good, but it is just hard on nights like this.  I just need other strategies besides Kid Rock's drink her away formula . . . .



How about you guys?  You ever been in a long-distance relationship and/or had a bad dinner for one experience?

A Not at All Gay Sushi Night

Bobby Choo-Choo texted me last night and said he had a Groupon for Sushi at a place near both our apartments that expired that very night, so he asked if I wanted to go with him.  We picked up a bottle of wine and a couple of Japanese beers and walked over.

When we came in, the place was packed full of coupon procrastinators, so we took the one table left.  The Chicago Bulls game was on, so the hostess asked if both of us wanted to sit on the side facing the television.  We both thought that would look . . . funny, so Choo-Choo conceded that spot to me since he is more of a Boston fan and not big on the NBA.

Looking over the menu, the option that made the most sense was to get a "boat" of various sushi for a set and very reasonable price.  Of the three boats, of course the "Love Boat" was the best option.  When we ordered, Choo-choo asked in his thick Asian/Boston accent, "The Love Boat isn't 'hawt-shaped, is it?"

Behold!  The Gayflower

Turns out it was shaped like a regular old big boat, like the Mayflower, and it was full of delicious sushi.  Conversation included Brazilian Ju-Jitsu, an upcoming bachelor party we are attending, 1980's thrash metal, and nothing at all gay.  I swear.

Do any of you men have much experience dining with other men or know two men who do?