Whiskers, Sandblast, Henley, and the Yolk

Pop Quiz: Those are all terms in what genre?

If you said nicknames of players on the '78 Yankees, great guess, but no.  If you guessed highly perverted sex acts, you might be right, but I am sure that they are fashion terms.  I learned this a couple of weeks ago when Oates, Bobby Choo-Choo, and myself were spinning records and sipping beers at my place after a long night of sipping loudmouth soups.  Choo-Choo was commenting, and not at all in a gay way, how put together Oates is with the way he dresses and grooms himself.  As a matter of fact, Choo-Choo was looking for Oates to be his fashion guru of sorts.

I was more just laughing at the odd shift in conversation from sports and women and things to fashion advice, but Choo-Choo was really hitting up Oates for every bit of fashion advice he could get.  For example, Choo-Choo commented how the lines on Oats' jeans that  go from the crotch out to the end of the thigh not just when he sits down but even when he was standing.  "Oh, you mean the whiskers?" our fashion guru asked.  Then he asked what that fading effect is, the discoloration, and it turns out that is the sandblast.  Then it was asked if one should ever wear a t-shirt under your button up, and Oates responded with an emphatic "no way."  His tanned chest is always exposed, but he did say that what you can do when it is cold is wear a Henley underneath which can be buttoned down so that it doesn't show.  When he pulled his shirt back to tell us about Henley, Choo-Choo and I lost our shit because the only Henley we know about is Don Henley who sang Eagles songs from behind his drum kit.

However, we laughed the hardest when he told us what the taint of the jeans is called.  What you call the grundle, gooch, or scranus of the denim.

It is called the yolk.

Glad that Oates, one of my finest constituents, could educate you today.  Now, some classic Don Henley as sung by two guys I'm sure that you know:

What Would You Do?

So I was out for dinner and drinks with the folks I play beach volleyball with, and the busboy delivering our food pointed out to my buddy which sandwich was his and actually touched the bun with his pointer finger. 

What would you do?

A. Demand a new sandwich or at least a new bun.
B. Say nothing.  Not a big deal.  Just eat your sandwich.
C. Awkwardly say, "Uh.  You touched my sandwich . . ."

If you have a D for a write-in, feel free to do that.  My friend did C, by the way. 

"This one I have dipped my finger into is yours."

Drunk Quiz Thursday

I'm trying to post every day, and today I'm topically bankrupt, so I found a site called blogthings.com, and look at all these great drinking topics:




What Mixed Drink Are You?
What Kind of Drunk Are You?
What Flavor Martini Are You?
What Flavor Margarita Are You?
What Alcoholic Drink Are You?
What's Your Beer Personality?
What Should You Be Drinking?
What Kind of Wine Are You?
Are You a Party Girl?
Are You a Drunk Diva or a Crunk Chick?
What Cuban Cocktail Are You Quiz?
What Hangover Cure Are You?
Are You Beer or Wine?
What Type of Beer Are You?
The Cocktail Test
The Martini Test
What Color Martini Are You?
What's Your Celebration Drink?
The Fancy Cocktail Test

I think we'll go with "What Kind of Drunk Are You," even if the one about "Drunk Diva or a Crunk Chick" is intriguing.

Who are you most likely to drunk dial?

Everyone you can think of
Your best friend
No one - you'll be too drunk to dial
Your ex
Random people, probably strangers
Your sponsor

How come your current girl isn't a choice? I guess I'll go with the best friend.

If you were going to get arrested while drinking, it would be for:

Attempting suicide
Talking back to a cop
Fighting
DUI
Indecent exposure
Drunk in public

I will say "drunk in public." I just don't get people who talk back to cops. I see it all the time, but when the cops come it's time to, as Gancey's Sister says, go to shut-up school.

Where do you do most of your drinking?

In public, with a brown paper bag
During pub crawls
At home
Dive bars
At parties
In your car

I gotta say "at bars" for this one. I hate staying in on weekends, but I also hate spending hundreds of dollars at stupid bars. I actually have to find projects to do to keep me out of bars. Saturday I know I'll take it easy because I have a 20 mile run, volleyball tournament, and Gung Ho's mom's wake the next day, but Friday I need a really good reason not to spend pointless money at bars. Help me out guys . . .

When you drink, you also like to:

Dance
Perform
Drink more
Cry
Sleep
Fight

I'm going to say perform because of all the damn karaoke I've been doing, but "drink more" is also a good choice. "Cry" is a funny option . . .

Finally, what's your poison?

Something warm
Wine
Nail polish remover
Rum
Tequila
Beer

For sure beer on this one. Sometimes I do wine during the week but just a glass or too. Hard liquor gets away from me in a hurry, and I'm way too old for more than one shot in a night.

Anyone else want to answer a question or two in the comments?