These Thoughts Happened a Few Weeks Into Living With My Girlfriend . . .

What the heck is that thing on the couch?  Oh, a bra.  I guess she must have been lying on the couch watching television and thought she would slip off the bra before a nap.  It's not like there are bras all over the apartment so whatever.  If I were the woman around here there would be bras all over the damn place because those things have got to be uncomfortable.  They would be hanging from the lamp shades, the ceiling fan, out of the cupboards . . . Panties too.   Every day would look like an orgy broke out the night before.