Noisewater Family Updates

So what's new over at the Noisewater place?

Well, the wife and I are employed, working from home during the pandemic. The kids are in school and daycare, respectively, so we are able to actually get some work done around here. One of us was working in the baby's room, which is a pretty good office, and the other one was working in the common area. It's a pretty small condo that we stay in. What we noticed was that we kept derailing productivity when one of us would go into the common area for a snack or a workout or to switch laundry. I think we just talk to each other to kill time and get ourselves off track. So, what we discovered works better is making the toddler's bedroom into another office by putting one of those fold out desks into the wall. Is it weird when I'm on a work call and my clients see bunk beds and toys in the background? No really, when you're a teacher and your "clients" have bunk beds in the toys in their background as well.

It's tough to get kids to show up to class. Sometimes they show up for attendance and then think they can be slick and sneak off for a nap or to play video games or something. So when you suspect that you just call on them to see if they are really there. The other day I got tired of Sydney  (not even close to his real name) pulling that move day after day, so I was like "Sydney, just checking in if you're interested. We are giving away $500 and a Playstation 5 . . ." No response. It got a big laugh, which is really what I'm going for as much as anything else these days.

I got two weeks off of work right now, and I thought I would have to keep the kids out of their mom's hair while they tried to work, but it turns out the baby's daycare lady will take the toddler too! Which means, Winter of Kenneth has begun! Only 3 days of no kid time, but I'll take it. Today what did I do? Dropped off the kids, did an online training for work, went to Costco for shopping, vacuumed and mopped, and did a workout with some muscular butt ladies on the TV. That's not too bad, right?

How about you guys? Got any time off and how are you using it?

Hot for Not So Hot Teachers

Although more-and-more males are getting into the education field, it's still a female dominated profession. In my experience in schools, I've found that because of this, many women get way more excited about not-so-great male prospects so long as they are dudes. If you're having trouble meeting women, and maybe you want to inspire young people and enrich their lives (but mostly the getting chicks thing), you may want to consider a career change.

Trust me when I say that even if you're not too great looking, you'll make out like a bandit. Actually, I have discovered what constitutes a hot male teacher, and if you believe in this theory, you can't fail.

Are you ready?

Here is all you need to be the sexiest man alive to female teacher as one of the lone male teachers in the building:

No tits and most of your hair.

Dr. Ken's No-No Words

I have noticed that kids say three words that weren't okay when I was a kid, and they shouldn't be okay now: sucks, retarded, and gay.

1. Sucks: When I was in school, it was your ass if you said "this sucks!" Now, it's perfectly fine, and in fact, kids are genuinely surprised when I reprimand them for saying this; They really have no idea that they have done anything wrong. The problem is, saying "this sucks" is really an abreviation for "this sucks dick," which I think we all can agree is not appropriate.

2. Retarded: I hear this one all the time now on TV, and I just don't get why this isn't offensive. What's good to do to kids who say this is to abruptly say, "Hey! My brother's mentally retarded." When they say, "He is?" Say, "No. I don't have a brother, but don't say that word in that sense. It's cruel."

3. Gay: If you're talking about someone being happy or homosexual, by all means, use this happy little word, but if you're using to say something is stupid, as in, "This is gay," what you're doing is equating being homosexual to being stupid, which isn't fair to gay people. What I say to kids is, "I have gay friends, so I personally don't like that word being used in that sense. Could you use another word?" They usually say, "What? You have gay friends? You're gay?" I think some kids think that gay people live off in little colonies and don't interact with anyone. I think that's probably kind of what I thought when I was their age. In fact, I probably said all of these words in these exact ways in any given day as a kid, but as a writer who values words and a believer that our words carry great weight, I try to do the little things to change how these kids talk, or at the very least, get them to think about it.