felcher

i work my summer job with this one boisterous and hyper guy, a lot like me, and he is also very off color with his jokes, like me.  so the other day someone is being a total doucher, and so gross guy says that the perfect term for someone like that is a felcher.  i had never heard of this, and i was informed, probably within earshot of customers, that this is a term for someone who sucks the semen, sometimes with a straw, out of another guy's anus after anal sex.

i did some research and found this quote from someone who wrote a comic on felching:

OK, since we didn’t get in any trouble with Snatch and Jiz, and a couple of these other comics, I was partying one night with Crumb, Wilson and these other guys. And Wilson mentioned to me, he says, "I was talking to Ken Weaver and he had this real interesting word." I said what, "What is it?" "A word called 'felch.'" I said, "What does that mean?" He said, "It is a real old term and it means orally withdrawing semen from someone’s lower digestive tract after having anal sex." I said, "There’s a word for something like that?" That’s incredible that not only is there a word like that, but it has a provenance. Hell yeah, we’re going to do a felch comic. So I talked to Crumb, "Yeah, we’re going to do a felch comic."

 that must be good reading!  and think of the illustrations!

We Need a More Manly Term For Cuddling

It really is impossible to sound cool when you're a guy saying that word: Cuddlng. Can you really see yourself saying to a buddy, "Sunday was amazing. My girl and I just stayed in bed all day and cuddled like crazy!" Not too cool sounding, right? But, most guys secretly like to engage in that act, at least that's what I have found through my informal poling. Now, while it is true that some fellas just like to nuzzle up in there because it sometimes leads to sex, more likely the man cuddles out of instinct (not unlike the cats pictured) and the sex is just something that pops up, so to speak.

So, here at The Gancer, I'm going to try out some new terms, and I need you, my Seven Readers, to tell me which one is the best.

Smush: Someone told me that is what the kids on "The Jersey Shore" call it, but when I looked it up, it's a term they use for coitus. So, that won't work, and it's no more manly a term than cuddling anyway.

Fusion: I think this could really work. Let's see: "We got it on for like an hour, and then we just lied in bed fusing until the sun came up." Hey, you know, that's not too bad!!

Snuggle: Nope. That's even dorkier sounding than cuddling.

So, that's it. If you can think of a better one, let me know in the comments. Otherwise, we're going with fusion. And here's your mission, Seven Readers: See if you can sneak this new term into a blog post or a conversation and come by and let me know if you've managed to do so. Extra credit coming your way if you get a hold of a special someone and give him or her a fuse for old Dr. Ken.

Things Brits Say

I just finished all the seasons of Peep Show on Hulu, and I kind of miss those Brits. I miss the goofy stuff they say. Here are some of the most fun words I can think of right now:

Snog: To kiss

Fancy: When you like something, you fancy it.

Blimey!: This is what you say when you're surprised about something. Apparently, it derives from when people in the 1800's would say "God, blind me."

Chips: Fries

Crisps: Chips (isn't that werid?)

Bollocks: Balls, as in a pair of balls or like an exclamation, "Balls!"

Have a wank: Masturbate

Pull myself off: An even funnier way to say masturbate.

If you still don't think you want to watch this program, give this clip a try, and "step away from the bum (that means butt)."