Lan's Old Town

I went to Lan's Old Town for the first time on Friday night.  It is a bring your own alcohol Chinese restaurant and karaoke bar in Chicago that is famous for its' drunken owner and host, Jimmy Ma.  My good friend Choo Choo Train is a regular there, and he recommended we bring Jimmy a bottle of Jack. Jimmy was out front having a cigarette when we arrived, and he was already plastered.  He was pleased to see that we brought him a bottle, and he proceeded to crack the seal, take a swig out of it, got me in a head lock even though I have never met him, and then put his cigarette out.  With his tongue!!!

This is actually a picture of Jimmy!

 The customers all interact with one another, have a seat at each others tables to introduce themselves and share their booze with you.  There were tons of good looking girls in there that night, but it still wasn't enough for Jimmy's taste, and he kept asking us in his thick Chinese accent, "You going to bring some pussy in here, or what?"  Jimmy pretty much lives the dream and does whatever the hell he wants and people love him for it.  For example, he grabbed a beautiful blond girl who looked to be 30 years younger than him and just started making out with her, and she just thought it was hilarious.  Only Jimmy could pull off a move like that.

I know I will be back very, very soon, and I recommend you, my seven readers, give it a try too.  I do not, however, recommend putting cigarettes out on your tongue.

I Was Looking Over My Text Messages Today . . .

. . . and I saw one from Saturday night that read "Look to your left.  Matching sushi shirts."

My sister and I were out for sushi at a nice bring your own wine place enjoying a cool and crisp chardonnay (any cheap Chard' tastes like butter to me), and sure enough, to my left were a pair of nerdy twenty-somethings with matching shirts with pictures of sushi on them that read "That's how I roll."  She texted me this information because didn't want to say it out loud because they were one foot away from us.  We had a hard time not laughing, and I had to run off to the bathroom because it was just so damned goofy.

When their order came I saw that the shirts didn't lie because they had in front of them more sushi than any two humans should be able to consume in one sitting.  I texted my sister back, "We should have asked them what they got before we ordered because they God damned professionals."  

We had a good time.  I love weirdos.  Takes one to know one, I suppose.  

Updating All Seven Readers

Dr. Ken . . .

. . . just published a good interview with one of his favorite bands. You can read/listen to it here.

. . . just published the second interview in a two part series with UFC fighter, Matt "The Immortal" Brown, and you can read/listen to that here. I have gotten to know this guy pretty well, and I'm worried that if he loses tomorrow, he'll be booted out of the UFC, so cheer him on for me!

. . . is going out tonight with Gancey Girlfriend to our favorite Italian place. Where was I before BYOB? Why drop fifty bucks on alcohol on your bill when you can bring 10 to 20 bucks in wine with unlimited selection from any store you want? A bottle of wine bought at a restaurant is at least double the cost. What a racket!

. . . is having his second annual Redneck Party at his apartment next weekend. This year's moonshine is apple flavored with cinnamon sticks soaking at the bottom. Mmmmm. Makes you go blind.

. . . sometimes does abdominal routines on his On Demand cable, and his roommates come home and see him panting, sweating, and prancing around like Sissy-Boy Roy.

. . . is midway through "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo." Hooray for Swedish authors/artists, but it's very sad that the guy died before he could enjoy all the success of this great series of novels.

. . . has to fix his hair and splash on some "pew" (that's what my grandpa called cologne) and pick up his lady. Have a happy fourth, everyone, if I don't talk to you!