I just got back from another trip to see my lady, LSD, out in Los Angeles, and one highlight was definitely getting a chance to play some beach volleyball because it's cold as crap here in Chicago.  While we were playing, a bald black man walks over to the outdoor showers you use rinse sand off before going home, and he proceeds to take a full on shower with soap and shampoo.  He left his shorts on, thank God, but he did reach down there to excessively clean his junk and his butt.  It could have been considered lewd conduct the way he was lathering away on those balls.  I mean, they had to be really clean by the time he was done.

Then "Gangnam Style" came on, and he started doing the dance while he washed his nuts, at which time I just fell out laughing.  Thank you, weird guy.  I needed that laugh. 

L.A. Recap

As some of you know, my girlfriend, the lovely Miss LSD, is living in Los Angeles for 2 years while going to graduate school. We had a monthly visit in L.A. over the weekend, and here's what I learned: I love my lady, and I love The Rainbow more than any bar outside of Chicago. Lemmy and Ron Jeremy are there almost every night, Lemmy by the bar playing video poker and drinking Jack and Cokes and Ron in his own booth with another booth for his big, old, hairy penis.

On this night, Chuck Zito and Leatherface were in there. Some dude I didn't know said, "Do you want to meet Leatherface?" I thought it a little strange because, while I am a fan of horror movies, I'm not a big enough fan to bother the dude who played Leatherface. Too late, the guy had already motioned for me to follow him. When we get to Leatherface's table, he is huge, standing around 6'6", but he looks way younger than he should be. I shook his hand and told him how much I loved his work, especially when he plunks that poor guy in the head with the hammer. He muttered to the friend that introduced me something to the effect of "What are you my publicist?," and turned around back to his friends. I said that he didn't seem too friendly, and the guy that brought me back there said, "Yeah. We don't really get along." Then why in the hell did you drag me back here to meet this big jerk? And it wasn't even the original Leatherface. It was the one in the remake and the same dude who played Lattimer in "The Program." Well, better that I just played it cool and didn't what I really think of him. I mean, have you seen this scene?

To Live and Die and Do Stuff in L.A.

These are things I plan on doing in California this weekend:

1. Have sweet, sweet monthly sex with my long-distance girlfriend.

2. Get up early and go for a run along the beach for some last minute training before next week's Chicago Marathon.

3. Go to some sort of museum with the GF. Museums are kind of suck-ass, but when you're with someone fun, they're as fun as anything else.

4. Meet long time blog friends in person for the first time, Laughing Through My Chardonnay and SO@24. A few years back we would have hilarious IM conversations dubbed Eifel Tower Sessions that would either turn into deep probing therapeutic talks or completely off-the-wall disgusting revelations, both of which were equally rewarding. So, it will be good to have a happy hour with them and create "Eiffel Live."

5. Perhaps see one of my oldest friends who has been living there quite some time, and he has a birthday on Saturday. He's been playing in bands for years, and he may even play a show for his b-day, which would be great fun.

6. Go to In-N-Out Burger

7. Then a couple more rounds of the old monthly in-out-in-out with the lady.

8. Fly home Sunday and go back to my cold and lonely life back in Chicago, back to work with very little sleep.