Wednesday, February 20, 2013

A to Z Farts

Well, the last blog was about pooping, and I'm sorry to say that this one is about farting.  Now, without thinking about each letter for more than a few seconds, I give you every type of fart from A to Z.

A - Aroma therapy fart
B - Barrage of farts
C - Chimichanga fart
D - Dangerous fart
E - Effervescing fart
F - Full blast fart
G - Gorgeous fart
H - Helluva fart
I - Impossibly bad fart
J - Joyous fart
K - Kissed by a fart
L - Lackluster fart
M - Mediocre fart (seem to be hitting the run of the mill farts around here)
N - Napalm strike fart
O - Omnipotent farting
P - Perennial
Q - Quit farting already fart!
R - Relaxed fart
S - Sharting fart (or perhaps the snart, when you sneeze and a fart eeks out - Thank you, Chudd).
T - Treacherous fart
U - Unmistakably a fart
V - Vicious fart
W - Wasn't a fart at all.  Must have been the leather couch cushion .
X - X-men fart (mutant power farts)
Y - Yes, that was my fart.
Z - Zangief holding you down and farting on you fart.

"Ref!  Help!  Can he do that?"
Your mission, readers, if you choose to accept it, is to take one of these types of farts and describe it in detail.  That or just say what an idiot I am or whatever else you wanna say.  


Anonymous said...

The "supernova fart." I did that upon meeting a lovely blogger once. We were walking AWAY from the direction my asshole was pointed in, obviously, and I farted. Now, the fart went supernova, meaning it spread outward in ALL directions, even in front of us. IT.WAS.RANK!!!!!! Yes, she smelled it and acknowledged it. This gave me pause for thought. If the fart went in FRONT of us, which is more or less the future into which we were walking, would that not mean that the fart actually travled faster than the speed of light? I have NEVER had a supernova fart like that before, it WAS instantaneous, to us both. Soooo many questions.

Heff said...

It's TRUE.

I was the girl he was with.

Tard R. Sauce said...

The only thing that smells worse than a fart is - THIS BLOG.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Bama: Solid work. Hahaha. That should take the place of whatever S I had. That thing must have been clinging inside some tight jeans.

Heff: How do you two decide who is the girl?

Well, time to head over to this cat lover's blog and say how shitty his blog is . . .

Cocaine Princess said...

I've heard of being 'kissed by an angel' but never have I heard of being kissed by a fart

Gorilla Bananas said...

Hah, that reminds of this fart compilation on You Tube. Maybe should have directed that one, Dr Ken. Something tells me you would have been a natural.

Vapid Vixen said...

I've never seen a more complete homage to farts before in my life. Boyfriend will truly appreciate this one.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

cp: I think I was going for the Seal song? I just went with whatever came into my weird brain first.

Gorilla: I'm heading over to that youtube now. Farts are fun. They're shit without the mess (Carlin).

Vapid: First time commenter! Always good to see. Boyfriend is my kind of man. You got a keeper.