Saturday, October 17, 2015

Maria and the Dragon

I had lunch with my good friend, Gung Ho, the other day, and we got talking about a time the two of us were at a strip club together. No, neither of us go to those types of places regularly, but it was a bachelor party. One of the dancers had a seat next to us and we proceeded to have a fun, lively, and drunken discussion. She said her name was Maria. One of us asked "Why Maria?" and she said it's her mother's name. Gung Ho was astonished and said, "You use your mother's name for your stripper name?!" I was already dying laughing, but then it got funnier. And sadder.

It was quite a while ago, but I think Maria looked something like this.
Maria told us that she was new to Chicago and liked it so far. She said she got out of Los Angeles because she was "chasing the dragon" out there and needed a new setting. Neither of us had any idea what in the hell she meant by that so she had to clarify that she was addicted to heroin. Gung Ho said, "Wow, heroin, huh? You ever miss it?" This instantly changed the mood. Maria became forlorn, looked off to the distance, and to neither one of us in particular admitted, "All the time. Excuse me." With that, she got up from the table, walked into the back room, and we didn't see her again the rest of the night.

I said, "Gung Ho, I think you just caused a relapse!"

To this he put forward, "Maria was going to chase that dragon tonight with or without our little talk."

He may be right. 

Poor thing. 


Exile on Pain Street said...

If either of my daughters gets involved with heroin, I'll consider myself a colossal failure.

I hate strip clubs. I'm too uptight. I can never buy into the fantasy that those girls want me. They don't want me! As soon as my wallet is empty I'm invisible. It's like dating in Manhattan without the promise of occasional sex.

Jimmy Fungus said...

Did your friend Gung Ho ever have a similar conversation with Kurt Cobain?

Snowbrush said...

I can't imagine anyone being so stupid as to ask as addict if they miss whatever they it is that they're battling to overcome.

Vapid Vixen said...

Well now I'm just depressed.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I naively thought addicts would be happy to have kicked the habit, but some of them actually miss it. How very sad. I hope she eventually found something else to live for. I don't blame Gung Ho, he was just making conversation.

billy pilgrim said...

my buddy who committed suicide chased the dragon when he was my boss. one of my jobs was stand guard outside the washroom. after a few years he seemed to easily kick the habit and smoked massive amounts of pot.

i've had 3 friends who chased the dragon and they're all dead now. so it goes.

Mr. Shife said...

I was ready to give Maria a call to hook me up after the Cubs-Cardinals series. Damn you, Dr. Ken.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Exile: It's not me scene either, the strip club. I also think heroin is just about the dumbest thing anyone can get involved in. Never seems to go well for anyone . . .

Jimmy: I think he's just about the worst drug counselor ever. Let's keep him away from any good musicians.

Snowbrush: I think that's why it was funny and noteworthy. Had he said, "I'm sorry to hear that," it wouldn't have been a blog worthy moment. Thanks for coming by!

Gorilla: And THAT is why you are a good dude and someone who gets it.

Billy: Dang! You have led an interesting life around some interesting folks. Sorry to hear about the friends that you have lost.

Shife: Well, my Cubbies didn't win one game after that. Nor did they enjoy a single lead. Never led any of those games even for an inning. What the heck?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Vapid: Oops. Missed ya. Don't be depressed! I'm sure maria got off the heroin. And the stripper pole. And now she's probably just fine. : )