Monday, January 30, 2006

Online Dating Part 2


A good friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, read my blog and sent me a terrific email. So, I felt obliged to post it on my website, with her permission of course. I think the female perspective helps. Thanks, friend that shall remain nameless. Enjoy:

I was just complaining about the EXACT same thing to a friend of mine
yesterday, except with changing the word "ladies" with "guys."
Seriously. They ALL write the exact same thing. They all have a
sarcastic/dry sense of humor, like to travel, love their families and
friends, are up for going out or staying in ... They all like
intelligent women with a sense of humor who, you guessed it, like to
travel, are close to their family, and are up for going out or staying
in.

The picture section is even worse. I would like to send all guys on
that thing a list of what not to post.

Do not post

1) A picture of you in front of some European cathedral, to prove to
me that you like to travel, in which you are 2 centimeters big.
Everyone and their moms backpacked across Europe in their 20s, and
that cathedral looks like every other cathedral in Europe. And I
still have no idea what you look like, and that makes make me think
you don't want me to know.

2) (I know you did this, because you told me so, so forgive me) A
picture with your niece/nephew/daughter/son/random child to prove to
me you like kids. Yes, I get it. There are billions of these.

3) A picture of yourself without your shirt on. No. One dude who
winked at me was even lying down on a bed posing. In fact, there was
a SERIES of photos of him on/beside the bed without his shirt on. I
wish I was kidding. (Along with this is a picture of you with a
tank-top/muscle shirt on ... Guess what? Those went out in nineteen
eighty-something ... Wait, those were never in. You make me worry
that if I scroll down, you will be wearing zoobas.)

4) A picture of your dog/cat/fish/horse. I don't care.

5) A picture of cars you like. Seriously, don't do this. Some guy
who looked like a cross between Joe Piscopo and Rambo and winked at me
and had Ferraris in his photo section. No.

6) A picture with two buxom women on either arm. I cannot believe how
many guys do that. Is it to prove you could get women if you really
wanted to? That you're a ladies' man? It's even better when they
scratch out their faces in a very scary manner.

7) An outright bad photo. I know not everyone is photogenic. I, for
one, can't take a good picture to save my life. But there HAS to be
one better than some these guys post.

Anyway, to answer your question, the experience has been a big bust
for me. I'm glad I'm only signed up for a month. I am quite popular
with the out-of-state divorced 40-year-old father of 2. Oh, and
incredibly short dudes with no college degrees. The normal looking
guys I wink at want nothing to do with me, which really hasn't done
very good things to my self-esteem.

In conclusion, I am going to die alone.

Have a great day!

5 comments:

George Ferguson said...

Hey,

Interesting about dating. Good tips. I was wondering if you can include some links to favorite dating websites?

Thanks,
Computer adware

Anonymous said...

"3) A picture of yourself without your shirt on. No. One dude who winked at me was even lying down on a bed posing. In fact, there was a SERIES of photos of him on/beside the bed without his shirt on. "

I think this guy winked at me once. He thought we were perfect for each other because we both had brown hair.

Anonymous said...

Crap....you non-jew types have a hard time with this on-line thing. We (being the chosen people) have been very successful in online dating. See, it's easy for us ladies, because all jewish boys are college graduates and make lots of money. Because that's exactly what their mothers wanted for them.

And they generally have very low expectations of us, because all that they care about is that we (being the girls) are jewish. Because that's exactly what their mothers wanted for them.

Maybe you should convert?

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