Thursday, May 25, 2006

Cucking Fubs!!


I know I’ve already written about the Cubs, but they’re fricking killing me. They are SO bad. When the highlight of the season is our catcher punching a White Sox player, that’s pretty bad. Actually, even if we were winning games that would STILL be the highlight of the season. Man, that was sweet.

Well, I’ve put on my dorky Cubs bracelet that says “believe” on it, and I plan on sleeping and showering in it, etc, until something changes since, quite obviously, their success depends on ME. If this doesn’t work I may have to sacrifice a live, virgin goat to eradicate the curse of the goat once and for all. Even if it doesn’t work, a goat killing party is always a good time. I wonder how my landlord will feel about a pentagram on the kitchen tiles? Fuck it. Take it out my security deposit, because the Cubs are counting on ME!

9 comments:

Jenny said...

I think that only mephistopheles himself could take the Cubs out of their doldrums, so your seance might just work! But, hey this indefinite slump is no big deal for me, I am down with my pollack brothers on the south side, reprezent!

Dirk the Feeble said...

I have some really upsetting news for you if you're a Cubs fan . . .

It could be millenia before it's "their time."

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jen, I'm tight with Lucifer. We're boyz. I think I can strike a deal with him. You're a sox fan? We can't be friends anymore. Wait, no, you're music taste and Liar's Club appreciation supercedes your love of the "evil ones."

Dirk, I'm aware that we suck. I'm just lamenting.

I was just listening to the game in my office with the custodial staff. We're up 2 to 1 right now! "Believe . . . "

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Okay. We blew another one in the 9th today. Now is the point of the season where I boycott watching games, listening to games, looking at scores, and when someone even mentions the team in question I plug my ears and say "La-la-la-la" in a juvenile fashion.

Lizzie said...

I could watch AJ Pierzynski get punched in the face all day long. That guy is such a douchebag.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Liz, when it comes to the catcher on the south side, I tend to agree. He is a festering bag of douche.

Tara's World said...

I have an idea! You should go play for them!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

tara'sworld, I ceased playing hardball when I was faced with the sad realization of how much being scared of the ball effected one's hitting.