Monday, May 22, 2006

Fuck Dionne Warwick. THAT'S What Friends Are For


I don’t remember why, but on the drive to work today a line from a rap song popped in my head. I believe the song was Natural Born Killers (or maybe Killaz) by Dr. Dre and Ice Cube, and the line is as follows: “I’m down with Dre like A.C.’s down with O.J.” This is, of course, a reference to O.J. Simpson (Heisman Trophy winner, 2000 yard NFL rusher, and double murderer) and his childhood friend A.C. Cowlings. If you think about it, A.C. is one hell of a friend. You figure their conversation had to have been something like this:

OJ: I need a favor.
AC: Name it.
OJ: I need you to drive me in your car
AC: Can’t we use your Benz?
OJ: Nope. It has to be a white Ford Bronco. Can you do it?
AC: You mean a getaway?!
OJ: Not exactly. More like driving 25 on highway with 42 police cars behind us.
AC: Sounds fun, but . . .
OJ: Oh yeah, I’m going to need to hold a gun to your head the whole time
AC: Ummmmm
OJ: Oh, come on, man! I’d do the same for you. Come on . . .(look at the solo OJ picture when you read this line. He’s damn convincing, isn’t he?)
AC: Alright, Juice. But I’ll be expecting a sixer for this. . .

So, are you down for your friends or are you AC-style down for your friends? If your friend stabbed his ex-wife and her lover 12 times each, would you drive him/her on a Live CNN cop parade at gunpoint? Think about it . . .

P.S.: Can anyone tell me what movie the sixer line is from?

7 comments:

HAKKIN£N!!!!!!!!!!!!! said...

Juice probably butt-banged A.C.

And isn't that quote from "Deep in Linda's Ass, Part IV?"

Steph said...

I'd help you hide the bodies, DR Ken.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I don't know hakk, I'm not familiar with those types of movies. Besided, I think makers of the Linda series lost sight of their vision after the first three installments.

Steph, you're a special lady. I'm going to hold you to that . . .

mysterygirl! said...

I am AC-style down with nobody. I'm a tremendous wuss, particularly when confronted with the law.

Dirk the Feeble said...

I wouldn't do it for just anybody, but I would for a celebrity - I mean, after all, we're all second-class citizens compared to people like The Juice.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Mystery- Well, if you can't be the AC in the relationship, perhaps you can be the OJ and let someone else be the AC.

Dirk- You're right, I'd do anything for a celebrity, even a minor one like Dick Van Patton.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Nobody got the quote. It was from The River's Edge.

God, I couldn't write for shit back then. Dirk the Feeble was a great blogger who vanished without a trace . . .

Dr. Ken
12/07