Sunday, September 17, 2006

I was just looking in the mirror while I was brushing me teeth, and why do we do that, incidentally? There really is no need to, and we always make the most stupid looking faces while brushing, so why in the world do we insist on staring at ourselves?

Okay, I have a point to this post, and I'm going to stick to it. No more tangents, I promise.

So, while I was marveling at my stupid brushing faces I noticed that the legions of grey hairs on the right side of my head are growing in numbers. Only a careful eye, because of my blond hair, notices them, but tonight I felt like I should just settle in for the evening with some metamucil and a good episode of Matlock. There is a chance I'll look cool with Gray hair, like MacGyver, but I'm worried I'll just look like Leslie Nielsen. Gray hair? "Surely you can't be serious . . . "

So I grabbed some scissors and began cutting. The end result is I’m a little less gray over there, but I now have maybe the dumbest looking sideburns of all time. I thought about trying to even out the other end, but I figured if I started doing that I'd keep over compensating on each side until I was completely bald by the end of the night. I could just see adding that little disaster into my wealth of misadventures.

I turn 30 in January. I'm terrified. If this is how I react to a few stray grays I may be in deep shit.

19 comments:

classyandfancy said...

I think you should have just shaved your name on the side of your head or maybe a Nike swoosh and called it a night.

But, really, we all know that gray hair is very distinguished and an excellent look for a particular journalist, so it may work for you! Try it or just get some of that Just For Men stuff.

laura said...

I'm only 26 and I find a single gray hair every couple of months. I feel the exact amount of terror every single time that happens. You are not alone. I have dark brown hair so it's even more fun.

Maybe a Bobby Brown fade is in order for you?

trinity67 said...

I walk around the house while brushing my teeth as I find it boring to stay in one place. the cats do not like the smell of toothpaste. They wrinkle up their noses, squeeze their eyes shut and run away whenever I come within a ten foot radius of them. My apartment is about 600 square feet. It's an interesting game.

I found my first gray hair in my early thirties. I thought that was neat but that's cuz I probably won't even start to go gray until I'm well into my sixties - my mom's 63 and has maybe a handful.

My bf went totally gray/silver by high school. I think he's hot with gray hair.

Matter of perspective I suppose.

Mo said...

I personally think gray hair rocks; mostly because I’ve been going gray since I was 14 and still don’t dye it at the ripe old age of 28. I’ve actually had people ask me if I dye my hair to get the gray strands. They are obviously idiots. Who would dye individual stands of their hair and pick the color gray to dye it with?

I walk around while I’m brushing me teeth so as to not have to look at myself making funny faces. My sister does the same thing.

Cherry Ride said...

Couple things:
1. Photographs, please.
2. Classy is right (as always) - Just for Men if you're so concerned.
3. You should be looking forward to your 30s. Much better than your 20s. Seriously.
4. I thought the whole point was not necessarily to be looking in the mirror, but more about being near the sink. I drool too much so a sink is a necessity.

Jennifer said...

Men look hot with grey hair.

I'd much rather have a natural grey haired man than a "Just For Men" man.

Or one with fucked up sideburns.

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Classy: Nike swoosh is good, but I think I have to go w/ the 8 ball.

Laura: Bobby's fade is TIGHT! How could anyone divorce that fade?

Trinity: Thanks for coming by! All gray in HS? He must have had some tough classes and not enough study halls.

Mo :I was going to ask you if those were fake streaks . . . Just kidding. I never noticed.

1. You know I'm too dumb too pull off photos. I can't even get off of this beta-blogger stuff that's sucking my will to live.
2. No just for men! The next thing you know I'm buying viagra and busting a comb over.
3. Here's hoping you're right . . .
4. Drooling. Good call. The roommates would think I were a rabid, retarded man if I walked around frothing about the mouth.

Jennifer: Don't lie. All women want morons that do hack jobs on their own sideburns and then lament about it.

God's Child said...

well, you could be like my friend and be bald halfway to the back of your head by age 25. There's always a bright side.

RevRee said...

Awwww! It's ok! I just turned 28 back in May. I have dark brown hair and I'm proud to say I've never found a single gray hair...

ok, I found one on my arm, but that doesn't count....does it?????

AHHHHHHHHHHHHh

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

GC: I'm just being dramatic, as always. Thanks for dropping by!

Rev: I feel better after reading your last post. At least I know that when I'm old and gray I'll still have more game than that tool shed.

Steph said...

Grey will make you look distinguished and wordly.......or just old. Either/or ;)

kb said...

gray is good. like mo, i've been graying since before i could drive. and like mo, i'm now 28 with a decent salt addition to my pepper. and also like mo, (moronic) people ask me if i have highlights.

more importat than grat hair, who is this mo person? i suspect we may have separated at birth.

ocg said...

Don't call me Shirley.

I have experienced the same thing lately, though I had the where-with-all not to go cutting anything myself... though I think I may be getting my hair colored sooner than later (having dark brown hair they stand out more). My 31 is in a week and a half... and think the grays are increasing by the day.

I also don't brush my teeth in front of the mirror normally. Much to the dismay of some previous roommates I brush my teeth while watching TV. That way I insure that I have brushed them long enough. (I have weird oral hygiene issues).

ps- I am not dead.

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

KB- Salt n' Pepa' is a pimpin' look. The white Leslie Nielsen is not as good. You and Mo may not have been seperated at birth, but you're both awesome. I smell a Chicago Blogger convention . . .

OCG- You are back from the dead! If I brushed in front of the TV I wouldn't get any brushing done, but three hours would go by and I'd have the brush in my mouth and toothpaste drool down my face watching hours of Rockford Files. I know that was a monster run-on-sentence. It happens.

Cherry Ride said...

Seriously. Maybe not a Chicago Blogger convention, but at least a kegger. Each of us invites 3 blog friends and we each bring a bottle.

classyandfancy said...

Chicago blog Kegger with a keg coupled with bottles of sweet libations? Done and Done. I have at least two blog commenters that would attend, Ms. Mo & Moi! Maybe my dream of a I HEART to party rooftop party will come to fruition?

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

rooftop party. do it!

then all of us blog about the goings-on of the party.

someone is for sure going to barf off the roof, well, someone BESIDES me.

trinity67 said...

Leslie Nielsen went to school with one of my ex-boyfriend's' mother. Apparently he was a sharp dresser.

Did I over do it with the apostrophes? The one named Paul. Or was it Jesus himself?

Oh never mind.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Trinity: He's a silver fox.