I have to get something notarized. So I'm searching online for notaries in Chicago, and there's a page called the "Notary Rotary" with a big list of people, all of whom will meet you anywhere, anytime, and many of whom have pictures. I'm scrolling through their pictures, thinking, I might as well have a hot ass chick meet me anywhere, preferably at 2:00 in the morning, at my house, while in my undies. I thought my odds were pretty slim at finding the allusive hot-to-trot, notary-babe, but low and behold the blond bombshell pictured immediately to the left of this sentence. This scenario begs a few questions:
1. How could I NOT go with the hot one?!?
2. Doesn't everyone?
3. Do any of these other losers get calls, or since she started did all their business dry up?
4. Is the notary game just a front for an escort ring?
5. God I hope so.
6. Was #5 a question or more of a beg?
So, this notary bird is meeting me Thursday night at the bar at which I play volleyball. I can't wait to tell my whole team about it, so we can all anxiously await her arrival. Maybe she'll sub for us! Maybe she notarizes naked! Maybe she signs with her . . .
I'll be sure to keep you, my loyal readers, posted of the upcoming events.