Saturday, January 17, 2009

Halite, Halite. My Boyfriend's Back.

I was at work the other day helping some kids learn how to add and subtract fractions, when I found myself singing to them two ninths to the tune of Phil Collins: "Two ninths, two ninths, two ni-iinths. Woh ooooooh." I don't think they remember the song, but I think they liked it anyway cause I'm a lot of fun.

It got me thinking about one of my favorite teachers in high school who when quizzing us on the different types of rocks would cue us for halite by saying, "my boyfriend's back." You know, "halite, halite. My boyfriend's back."

He would also say, and keep in mind that he looked like Christopher Reeves but talked like Yogi Bear, "Gancer, I will give you an all expenses, paid trip to the in-school suspension room!" Just before a three day weekend, he would say, "I tell you what. You kids have been so good. Don't even come on Monday. I'm serious. Take the day off. You've earned it.

I found myself saying that last one to the kids yesterday, since MLK Day is Monday. I'm officially a nerdy teacher.

Okay, Seven Readers who I'll soon have to call Three Readers, who was one of your favorite teachers growing up? What was one of their catch phrases?

15 comments:

Casey said...

1. Halite is not a rock.

2. I had a math teacher who managed to actually get and keep my attention. I actually managed to pull of C's in classes I was failing at midterm just because I didn't want to get expelled and not be able to show up to his math class. I owe that guy a lot.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

They still teach math in school? Geez, buy a fucking calculator and take sex ed instead.

JerseySjov said...

when we had to do multiple-choice practice algebra-placement tests in 7th or 8th grade our teacher had a comment for a few choice number-letter combination. "2B or not to be, just kidding it's 2B" "4C your final score" "you think im 6C i think you're too young" "i 8A bagel for breakfast"

in 10th grade my teacher would read our american history 1 textbook out loud using whatever accent the non-americans had: italian for columbus' landing, british for various revolutionary war people, old southern gentleman for the civil war...he did french and spanish too

radioactive girl said...

For some reason I can't think of a favorite teacher. I had a lot that I liked but can't think of anyone in particular right now. I always thought the nerdy teachers were the best though.

sequined said...

I had a teacher who said "if you will" all the time. I kept a tally. One day he said it eight times. In a fifty minute class.

Also my math teacher never said "fifty," but rather "fitty." "Please open your books to page fitty fo'." He thought he was so funny.

Jake Titus said...

Dr. K,
How are you? It's been a while. Unfortunately I had no teachers that supported and encouraged me. Maybe I was a bigger shit than I thought. I think that is part of what inspires me to pursue teaching now. Maybe I will make a difference in the future.
Jake

Anonymous said...

I had a teacher in high school that would call us "smartapples" instead of smartasses and would say, "that's the best things since bottled beer." And, since I drank a lot of beer in high school and truly preferred the bottled variety, I could totally relate to an individual like that. Also, you have to have LOVED that math teacher in junior high who would belt out in her Texas accent, "FIND THE RADIUS, SQUARE THE RADIUS, MULTIPLY BY PIE!"

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Casey: I KNEW you'd know about the rocks. What is it?

Mighty: That's true. Math is important and all, but I needed someone to explain all that hairing and wet dreaming to me. It was getting scary there for a while.

Jov: Those teachers sound like my kind of people. What one must remember is the lasting impact you can have, even the dumb jokes.

Radio: Nerds are the best cause they're excited about academic stuff. People enthused about the material make for better teachers.

Seq: I hope someone tells me if I'm overusing terms or phrases. Autistic kids are good for helping me remember how I sound cause they repeat everything back to me. I say "good man" to kids a lot, and I hear that echoed back to me.

Jake: Good to see you again! I forgot you were a teacher. Right on. I'm sure those kids love you. I mean, you're a talking fire hydrant for Christ's sake.

Anon: This has to be my sister, yes? You know, that very math teacher would always use Hershey bars as an example when she would do fractions. She was from Hershey Pennsylvania. Sadly, she was not able to find a formula to cheat death. She died a few years back. : (

Kadonkadonk said...

You expect me to remember that far back? I was way too stoned to have a favorite teacher...

Jenni said...

First if all, I have to say your music selection is beyond. When in Rome's "The Promise" is one of my al-time favorites.

Also, can you tech me how to add and subtract fractions? I am afraid I forgot...

I had an psychology teacher in high school that fried up monkey brains and served them to us as a sort of Hannibal Lechter-inspired breakfast. Being a vegetarian I declined, but enjoyed watching everyone else's reactions...Priceless.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Donk: You were like Jeff Spicoli, weren't you!?

Swank: My music taste is almost as awesome as my ability to add and subtract fractions. I would teach you well to the sweet sounds of Phil Collins. Fried monkey brains? That guy sounds like a nut! Did anyone eat it?

5 of 9er said...

So your teacher was a love-able dork... right?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Niner: Yes! You can see why I liked him so.

Casey said...

A mineral. It has predictable crystalline structure, set chemistry, it is generally not biogenic. I could go on, but I sense great eye glazing over in you.

A rock is a cohesive fabric of mineral grains. So you can have things like potash, which has halite in it, or rock salt, which is a concretion of halite (and some other salts). Halite itself is common table salt.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Casey: Good to know. Months later. I just was reading my old blogs. You know your rocks and minerals!