Monday, March 09, 2009

Slangin' Latte

I saw an advertisement for free lattes on Mondays at McDonalds, and I thought I'd try one out today. It was real small, stopping made me three minutes late for work, but it was damn good.

I got to thinking that this is not unlike when a drug dealer gives a new customer some free "shit" to get him hooked. Think about it. I'm a caffeine addict - pretty much like a junkie. I'm not going to go to Starbucks to get my "shit" if I can get it just as good and cheaper from Mack (McDonalds), right? When I go to Mack, I'm not going to buy his shwag stuff (regular old coffee); I'm going to want that bomb stuff (muthafuckin' latte) that he gave me last Monday for free. The one I've been telling all my homies (coworkers) about. As my tolerance grows, I may even have to buy a twenty sack (a medium, maybe even a large latte).

Mack's got me by the short and curlies, Seven Readers. Pretty soon the promotion will run its course, and I'll be paying for it, maybe even whoring for it.

13 comments:

sequined said...

I still think Starbucks lattes are better than McDonald's' but if you're getting it to go at least you don't have to worry about the different in ambiances (of which Starbucks' is also better). But I love all kinds of lattes, so I feel ya.

Kadonkadonk said...

Ummmmm....caffeine.......my precious.

radioactive girl said...

I got one when they first came out and it was horrible! It had this slimy layer on top and tasted burnt and gross. Of course I got it to go and it wasn't like I was going to go back and tell them it sucked and ask for my money back. I considered it a lesson learned. But now you are telling me it is good? Everything I knew to be true is now in question.

JerseySjov said...

free latte mondays? what? no one ever told me about this!
i need a place to get my fix because my usual coffee joint is too far to walk [not really, but it's too cold to do it].
you could do dunkin donuts, too, since they have cheap coffee/lattes and are also not starbucks.
i was at a dunkin d's last week and they had shirts on that said "friends don't let friends drink starbucks"

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Don't they use Paul Newman coffee??

My advice to you is to just say no to crack, dude.

Heff said...

Dude, buy in bulk for massive savings. Those twenty sacks kill your budget in the long run.

Anonymous said...

Okay, are they really that good or do they appeal to your cheapness?

JerseySjov said...

so i can't sleep and i go back to the woodsugars site, and since my buddy fixed my whatever i can watch videos so i watched the two that came up.
seriously, wow, tell donny that i say "hey" again, and try to not be creepy about it, because that's kind of creepy of me.

catherinette said...

Even if the latte sucks, it's still free. How can one say no to a free latte??

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Seq: Haven't see you in a while! I was in 'Bucks this morning, and I do like how efficient they are. Mo-fo's can move through a line, I must say.

'Donk: Yes, you are hooked like me. I plan on trying to kick it over the summer when my work isn't as important and I can supliment it with nice weather and more excercise.

Radio: It probably is bad quality. I'm a caffiene junkie, so I'd probably drink a Steamed Garbage Latte.

Jov: Those stores fight now, but watch, there will be a merger. Gancerdamous has spoken . . .

Candy: Do they? The salad dressing, too? The secret sauce? All Paul?

Heff: You are wize, oh ax wielding one . . .

Anon: A little of both, I guess.

Jov: I will tell him again. He will be flattered and all frisky. I'll probably end up having to take him out back and hose him down.

Everyone: Word verification was the first thing a sailor says every morning: "supboat."

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

cath: True. True. Would if I poured one right into a Shamrock Shake and mixed that son bitch up. I bet that would be really good or really gross. I'm doing that on my lunch break.

JerseySjov said...

haha thanks for helping me creep. hosing him down would really be going above and beyond the call of duty, but then again i AM your most loyal reader.
but seriously i did become a fan on the woodshug's facebook page today.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Thanks for becoming a fan of Wood Sugars (a Sugarmaianc). You are a good example to my other readers. : )

We have like 5 videos shot. When we get faster at editing, you'll see things going live all the time.