Thursday, March 26, 2009

Does Anybody REALLY Know What Time It Is?


I heard "Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?" by Chicago on the radio in my bathroom this morning, and I got to thinking, as I too often do about meaningless shit, mostly about rock music, that if I were the other guy in the exchange with the songwriter on the street that day, I would have likely punched him in the bean bag.


Let's pretend I, Gancer, were to have really needed to know the time, and Guy from Rock Band Chicago said those lyrics to me verbatim. Essentially, in the narration, he says that he was walking down the street one day, and a man asked him what time was on his watch . . .

Gancer: Hey, bud. You know what time it is?
Guy from Rock Band Chicago: Does anybody really know what time it is?
Gancer: Uh, well. I suppose you do. I mean, I see your watch and all.
GRBC: Does anybody really care?
Gancer: Well, I certainly do. I have to catch the brown line downtown. So, would you mind terribly just looking down at your wrist for that time?
GRBC: If so, I can't imagine why.
Gancer: Okay, chief. I don't need this existential conversation. What. F'ing. Time. Is. It!
GRBC: We've all got time enough to cry
Gancer: I suddenly have time enough to beat someone, and how fortunate for both of us that you have time enough to cry!

How about you, Seven Readers? Do you ever picture conversations in songs as the most stupid thing you've ever heard? If you get stumped, just default to Piano Man by Billy Joel.

11 comments:

Allison said...

Yes! Billy Joel, The Piano Man. Nice poetic Limerick, but what the hell is a real estate novelist? Are people big on reading novels about houses? Or are they reading about the buying and selling of houses? Either way, sounds boring as shit to me.

Zen Wizard said...

Yes, Chicago dude, spare me the Existential contemplation of the question--I have an appointment for a job because I have car insurance to pay...they told me if I am late I am shit outta luck...

WHAT THE #@CK TIME IS IT???

If he said another smartassed Rock Star thing after that, I would really be pissed...like, if he said, "Under the calendar of Romulus, or the Justinian calendar?" Or something smartassed like that.

Full disclosure: I liked Chicago back when that guy was the singer. I had no premonition of the aedenoidal/Peter Cetera/Soft Rock tenor bleatings about failed relationships, that were soon to come out of my radio speaker, in almost "Rain Man"-like repetition. After that, I got to the point where I blamed The Buckinghams for inspiring Chicago to start a group...

Zen Wizard said...

PS:

You have Seven Readers.

Ancient Greece had Seven Muses.

Coincidence??

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Allison: I've never thought of that. That really would make for a boring novel. Great call!

Zenzy: Glad you see it my way, and I see Chicago your way, too. The first couple albums were like prog-rock. I think when Terry Kath shot himself playing Russian roulette, the band become cursed by his spirit, damning them to 20 years of Peter Cetera ballads. That's just a theory of mine. Seven muses! Can you and the other six wear masks and chant your comments?

JerseySjov said...

I heard somebody say, "Burn baby burn, disco inferno! Burn baby burn, burn that mama down"

Zen Wizard said...

There was a double album that I thought at the time really rocked--but I guess if I went back and listened to it it would not be that great.

A tenor just doesn't play with a brass band--did Blood Sweat and Tears have a tenor? No, they had David Clayton-Thomas. Well originally I think they had Al Kooper but that proves my point. Did Chase have a tenor? No--growlly baritone was clearly the way to go on that one.

Speaking of The Buckinghams, even they did not have a tenor.

Oh well back to my boring job...

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Zen: Beginnings is a jam by Chicago. No question. I have some Blood, Sweat, and Tears on vinyl, and they kick ass, too. Buckinghams are from Chicago, I believe, so I like them, too. I don't know the difference between tenors and whatever, but I know for sure that I liked the first singer in Chicago better than Peter Cetera, with the exception of a couple good ones. I do admit that I like Hard to Say I'm Sorry, and I don't care who knows.

Kadonkadonk said...

The Search is Over by...um... REO? NO! Survivor!!

When I was like, 12, I thought that was the most romantic song. Now I think that I'd karate chop that douche bags nuts for stringing me along years taking advantage of me and f*&$ing around while I waited patiently.

Actually, I'd slap myself too for being so dumb.

It's amazing what a few bad break-ups and one or two womens studies classes do for you!

Heff said...

All the time, dude. All the time.

Zen Wizard said...

Listen to that album, "The Three Tenors," and that will give you an idea of what a tenor sounds like.

As I recall there were three of them on that album...

They are not as sucky as Peter Cetera...but then Brian Adams is a Rock god compared to Peter Cetera.

Chicago, I heard from multiple sources, gave some really sucky concerts in the Eighties--like, "Storm the Ticket Booth"-Bad.

They definitely went downhill when that one dude died.

I mentioned The Buckinghams because I think a couple of the guys in that group went to Chicago--I can't remember.

Zen Wizard said...

@ Allison--

If I may interpret the great poet, I think Paul, he was insinuating, had a manuscript in his drawer but actually had to sell real estate to pay the bills...

I dunno; genius like Billy Joel is cryptic and hard to interpret like James Joyce; one almost has to take a whole semester course in college and decipher the lyrics with the help of a knowledgeable professor.