Saturday, September 12, 2009

More Gancey Lyric Analysis

Remember "Hey Jealousy" by The Gin Blossoms? I was thinking what the ex girlfriend on the other end of the conversation would be saying, like I did on this post.

Gin Blossoms Guy: Tell me do you think it'd be all right if I just crashed here tonight?
Ex: Oh, come on!
GBG: You can see I'm in no shape for driving, and I got no place to go.
Ex: Seriously? There's no where else you could go? You sure you're not just trying to weasel your way back into my pants?
GBG: And you know it might not be half bad. You were the best I ever had. If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago, I might not be alone.
Ex: I KNEW it! So, wait, I was the best you ever had, and it was only "not half bad" in your estimation? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
GBG: Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found
To take its place...hey jealousy
Ex: Okay, fine, you can crash here on the couch, but we're not doing it. Also, if you think I'm driving around town getting chased by the po-po's like when we were 18, you got another thing coming, mister. I have a life now, and some priors, so in the morning, just pack up your shit, and don't pull this shit ever again, shit-head.

That was an overuse of the word shit right there, probably a writing no-no of some kind, but then again, I'm a shitty writer, so it kind of works for me.

Okay, here is another unheard end of the conversation, this time from Lil' Jon's "Get Low."

Lil' Jon: Three, six, nine, damn your fine
Move it till you sock it to me one more time
Get low, get low (Get Low) get low (Get low) get low (Get low)
To the window to the wall (To the wall)
Till the sweat drop down my balls (My Balls!)
Stripper: Okay, that's really gross. Don't tell me about your testicle perspiration anymore, and let's just get this dance over with.
Lil' Jon: All these bitches crawl (Crawl)
Y'all skeet skeet motherfuckers (Motherfuckers)
Y'all skeet skeet god damn (God Damn!!!)
Y'all skeet skeet motherfuckers (Motherfuckers)
Y'all skeet skeet god damn (God Damn!!!)
Stripper: Okay, don't call women bitches, don't skeet in here cause you're cleaning it up, and don't you DARE use the Lord's name in vain in MY titty bar.
Lil' Jon: Shortie crunk so fresh so clean
Can she pump that?
Question been harassing me in the mind This bitch is fine
I done came to the club about 50 11 times
Now can I play with yo panty line
Stripper: Hell to the no!
The club owner said I need to calm down
Stripper: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
Lil' Jon: security guard go to sweating
Me now nigga drunk then a motherfucker threaten me now
Stripper: Yes, he is sweatin' you, and don't talk about the ball sweat anymore, remember?
Lil' Jon She getting crunk in the club I mine she work
Then I like to see the female twerking taking the clothes off, ooh she naked!
Stripper: First off, I'm not sure how to "twerk," and I can't believe you've been here 50 eleven times, and you still say "ooh she naked" every time we do this.
Lil' Jon:Let me see you get low you scared you, scared you
Drop dat ass to the floor you scared you, scared you
Let me see you get low you scared you, scared you
Drop dat ass to the floor you scared you, scared you
Drop dat ass ya shake it fast ya
Pop dat ass to the left and the right ya
Stripper: Wait, do what now?
Lil' Jon: Drop dat ass ya shake it fast ya
Pop dat ass to the left and the right ya
Stripper: Slow down! These are a lot of instructions!
Lil' Jon: Now back,back,back it up
a back,back,back it up
a back,back,back it up
a back,back,back it up
Now stop then wiggle wit ya
Stripper: Yes. Stopping and wiggling, sir.
Lil Jon: Now stop then wiggle wit ya
Stripper: K.
Lil' Jon: Now stop then wiggle wit ya
Stripper: All right, already!
Lil' Jon: Now stop then wiggle wit ya
Stripper: You know, you're an awful pushy nudey bar patron . . .

Okay, that's all I got.

11 comments:

BeckEye said...

Dude, I started to type a comment and that Robot Rock scared the living shit out of me.

By the way, there isn't enough money in the world that could make me give Lil' Jon a lap dance. LL Cool J, now, I'd do that for free.

JerseySjov said...

"You know, you're an awful pushy nudey bar patron"
haha!!
good luck with your upcoming stand up :)

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I'm impressed.

Most strippers never talk to their johns...I mean customers..

Drunken Chud said...

i can't believe you've been here 50 eleven times and still say oooh she naked everytime we do this.

i lol'd. literally. lol. in fact i lol'd so hard i farted. true story.

Mr. Shife said...

I think you are on to something here good Dr. I like what you have done here and it is funny as well. Maybe you can take requests for songs.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Beck: LL is a good lookin' fella and in really good shape, but would you give him a lap dance to Robot Rock?

Jov: It's tomorrow night. So nervous . . . Thanks!

Candy: Talking is good, unless they depress you.

Chudly: I made you laugh out loud fart? LOLF? Awesome!!

Shifey: I'd GLADLY do a request for you, Shifey. We go way back you and I.

Jack Gatlin said...

The Gin Blossoms scene feels surprisingly accurate to what probably actually happened.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jack: Yeah, I like to think I write well for girlfriends of pussies.

HeatherLynn said...

This is the first time to your blog, but that sh*t cracked me up...and let me tell you, i needed it today! :)

and you're not a bad writer...well, i don't think so anyway.

*hugs*

~hl~
www.hoscorners.blogspot.com

Giant Butters said...

So do you think the GF's name was Jealousy? I mean, who the fuck is Jealousy?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Heather: Thanks! You needed the laugh and I needed the vote of confidence. : )

Butters: Yeah, I was never sure what that was all about, but I assume he's talking to his own jealousy within himself. Maybe that's too deep for the Gin Blossoms . . .