Friday, February 07, 2014

I have a bit of a situation here.

A friend sent me a text with a video attached of a woman's ass shaking to the beat of a rap song, moving each cheek to each beat.  Then the person turns around to reveal a young white kid who says "Oh, you're gay as hell!"

I responded with what I thought was "Looks like Bieber is having fun in jail."  Because the kid looked just like Justin Bieber.  Not my funniest joke, but whatever.

But what autocorrect sent was "Looks like BELIEVER is having fun in jail."

A number I didn't recognize called, but because I was expecting a call from the rental car place, I picked it up.

An angry Black man was on the other line.

Him: "You call me?"

Me: "Uh, no."

Him: "Well someone texted from this number."

Me: "Maybe I responded to a group text or something?"

Him: "Uh huh.  Yeah, right."

And he hung up.

Then I got two calls from another random number.  I didn't answer.

You see, this friend of mine texted that video to tons of people, and my response went back to all of them, and it seems that on some of their phones, my response came unconnected to the video text.  So these Black fellas are wondering who in the hell I'm talking about that is in prison.

I responded to JUST the sender and said "I mean Bieber" but it's already too late.

Damn you autocorrect and phones that don't group responses of texts together, or whatever.  And damn you Justin Bieber.  Why do YOU get a pet monkey and I just got angry Black guys all over Chicago that want to kill me.


Mr. Shife said...

That Justin Bieber guy is just getting a lot of people in trouble. Take his Canadian ass to The People's Court, Dr. Ken, and get reparations for your pain and suffering. Justice must be served.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Shife: Yes. He has to go. Got me in trouble with a thousand anonymous Black men.

Jimmy Fungus said...

It's a darn good thing I don't have any friends. Just sounds like trouble if ya ask me.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jimmy: I blame guys with crappy flip phones that don't accept group texts. I was that guy not too long ago, and I would like to go back in time and slap myself.