Thursday, March 09, 2006

Eureka! I found my beloved ipod!


I found my ipod! It’s really an amazing story (watch closely for the fun words in caps and the accompanying stars). I sent out a mass email to the staff telling them to keep an eye out for it. We have an in-school suspension program in our school, and we have 3 RUFFIANS* that are there for the remainder of the school year. The teacher that runs the program told her students about my situation, and one of the loveable little HOOLIGANS made a wanted sign for my ipod with a picture of an ipod, and it said, “Have you seen me?” As I was leaving, this darling, little HOODLAM** ran after me to give me the wanted sign.

When I got back to my office, my 9th hour group of 8th graders were waiting patiently for me. Just for the hell of it, I showed them the sign that this adorable STREET TOUGH*** had made, and I told them the story. Hearing this, one kid said he saw an ipod in the lost and found the day before. I grabbed him by the collar and yelled in his face, “Tell me everything, you rotten little bastard!” Actually I didn’t lay a hand on him, and it was more like, “Really, what did it look like,” but it would be funny if I had done it the first way. He said he gave it to some girl, so I got her name, tracked her down, and sure enough, it was in her locker.

The thing that blows me away is, if this LOUT**** had not made the cute wanted sign, if he had not ran after me to give it to me, I would not have shown it to this kid, and I never would have seen the ipod again. I can’t help but think the guidance I have given that little SON-OF-A-GUN led him to feel some compassion for me and my plight. No good deed goes unrewarded, right? Well, I’ll be thinking of that little PUNK on my ride home when I’m bumping Booze Me Up and Get Me High by Ween on my freshly recovered ipod.

* Great word
** Great use of this word in Yackity-Yack when they’re all, “Just tell your hoodlum friends outside, you ain’t got time to take a ride!
*** I ganked this word from an episode of Seinfeld
**** I must admit that I had to use the thesaurus for this one. Anyone ever hear of this one?

11 comments:

Lizzie said...

I'm so glad you found it!

p.s. "Ruffian" and "Lout" are my favorites.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I'm glad I found it too Lizzie, and my faith in the future and the future of humanity is restored. Lout?? I'm calling some unsuspecting person that this weekend.

Roxana said...

Well, there you go! See, you are making a difference! And grooving to some jams while doing so. Well done.

Michael said...

Congrats, just be sure when you identify someone as a lout they are not carrying a samurai sword.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Rox- Yes, I'm back in action. Are you ready for Bubba's Weddin'?

Michael- Sword or no sword, someone is being called a lout.

Anonymous said...

I'm happy you found it, too.

Esbee said...

Holy crap. What does one do to be in suspension for the remainder of the year? That's like 3 months yet. How long have the miscreants been in there already?

Esbee said...

PS: You've never heard "lout"? It's dated, but only slightly.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Anon- I felt like holding my ipod closely and whispering softly to it, "you . . . complete me."

Esbee- Misreants! Damn! Big oversight on my part for missing that one. I'm not at liberty to say what these three young men did, but let's just say that it involved, as Rick James would say, the "stickiest of the icky."

Ms Smack said...

YAY!

lol @ you complete me LOLOL

hiphop_qt_4lyfe said...

haa i woulda died happy. i'm still praying i find mine *fingers crossed*