Sunday, March 26, 2006

Tip Your Waitress. Try the Veal.

Last night, The Roomy and I actually met some cool, attractive girls that we are both excited about calling. It wasn’t one of those times where I was talking to a girl all night, hoping that I could take her home, and then settling for a phone number that I have no intention of ever dialing. Jeez, that sounded mad sleazy. It wasn’t one of those, “yeah, I guess I’ll call her. Maybe she’s cooler and/or smarter when she’s sober. . .” The point is, I’m tired of meeting, and what’s worse, following up with, girls who I’m indifferent about. Love is supposed to start with a spark, maybe an explosion, but never apathy, right? So, The Roomy and I are stoked to have met girls who actually got our blood pumping a little.

Oddly enough, the events leading up to us meeting the women in question started when my roommate, our friend Jason, and myself were watching NCAA games at Finley Dunne’s, a great dive bar to watch sports. Our waitress was cute and likeable, and she was laughing with us because our television was about 5-10 seconds ahead of the other 6.* We would see a big play, have a given reaction, and then look around to see if the patrons had a similar reaction moments later. We tipped this waitress tall and went home, thinking that was the last we would see of this lovely bar maid.

So, last night (Saturday) we were out at The Liar’s Club, having fun, but the lady front was not looking good. We had a pretty big group with us, at least one of which was female, and it looked like we were going to fall victim to, what I like to call, the “bringing sand to the beach” effect. We were dancing in a circle formation, which makes it tough to infiltrate into other groups, or for other girls to penetrate our defenses. I hate when that happens. Just to shake things up, I spotted The Naked Guy, fully clothed, see two posts ago, so I requested Hot in Here by Nelly to get him good and naked. As I looked anywhere but in the direction of his flaccid penis, I noticed that the talent in the bar was looking slim. Sure it was good for my ego to have a mediocre-looking girl make me dance with another mediocre looking girl who was getting married in a week while her mediocre-looking friends cheered, or to have a so-so looking girl try to coerce me into taking my shirt off. I remember Tom Petty’s American girl was playing while I pushed my shirt down as she fought back pushing upwards. That’s all well and good, but now that the ego had been thoroughly massaged, I was hoping to meet a more pleasing to the eye woman.

Not long after the Tom Petty shirt pulling fiasco, just when I thought all was lost, the waitress from Thursday spotted us and said, “hey, I waited on you guys on Thursday.” She really likes us for some reason, and she insisted that we meet two of her friends, who were both really good looking and, as it turns out, a lot of fun. My roomy and I chatted up these girls all night, and when the ugly lights came on, which thankfully didn’t make either of these girls ugly, I remember typing my girl’s number into my phone as I saw The Roomy at the end of the bar typing in his girl’s number. The Roomy and I had a little spring our step as we went off into the night. I actually have to break a cardinal rule and call mine today. She is leaving for Switzerland tomorrow, and I’m going out of town tomorrow too. If this works out for him, myself, or even better, both of us, we will have to stop into Finley Dunne’s on another Thursday to watch sports on the super-fast television, and thank the match-making waitress for setting us up. Moral of the story: Tip your waitress? Don’t give up until last call? How about simply remembering that while life as a single guy can be lonely, frustrating, unfulfilling, and it has any number of other negative aspects, sometimes you have one of those nights where you meet someone great, and you remember why sometimes it’s great to be single, and you also remember why some of your not-single friends sometimes envy you.

* I want to add that I found this waitress photo on Google Images, so that's not her, and those guys aren't me or my friends, but how funny is that picture? Those guys look so drunk, and it looks like the Asian Indian fella is giving her the stalker look from hell glare.

13 comments:

Heather B. said...

I'm holding out hope for you, I mean a deciding factor for me, would've been the ugly lights being on. Since they had no adverse affect on her, I take that as a good sign.

Ace Cowboy said...

I like the picture of Quasi-Seacrest and the heart lollipop.

I thought you were the Indian Guy all the way until the end of the post. True story.

ocg said...

I love this story... I hope it is an awesome time... at least blog worthy.

mysterygirl! said...

That's fun-- and how rare is it that you and a friend both hit it off with two girls who are friends (rather than one of you just wingman-ing for the other)? The numbers game never seems to work out that smoothly (at least in my humble experience). Yay, waitress-- glad you tipped well.

Lizzie said...

Great story- hope it works out!

and "ugly lights" - never heard that one before but Iove it.

Dirk the Feeble said...

I think the better rule is to take the waitress-inspired hookups, but never hook up with the waitress.

Lizzie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lizzie said...

btw, I know you said that picture isn't of you guys but the image is stuck - I'll always picture you as that guy on the far right. (for the record, until this post I pictured you as the guy on the right in the ween pic a few posts back.)

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Heather: True. I suppose that's why Prince said, "Closing time, ugly lights, everyone's inspected, but you got the natural beauty of a (don't know what he says next)." Little help?

Ace: Finally, a comment from Ace! The lollipop picture wouldn't work forever, but I had my heart set on it, so to speak.

OC- Well, I've just been texting w/ her so far, since we've both been out of town. For the record, my goofy love life ALWAYS provides blog worthy stories.

Mystery- Yeah, it's nice when you get a 2-on-2 match-up. We've discovered it's nice to go out "gancing" (see gancing post for definition) in 3's. That way one guy can go off somewhere and two guys are left together.

Liz- Good to have you back! Since this is the second time you've inquired about my photo, and since the men you thought was in both were both ugly men, I've decided to let you and anyone else look me up on my friendster.com page under my email, mswans4@yahoo.com. If any of you have accounts, since you're all pretty rad, put me down as a friendster friend.

Dirk- YES! never, EVER go after a waitress. It's a fruitless journey. They are PAID to flirt with you.

Comment Deleted- Thanks for coming by and thinking better of your own entry. I'm sure it was for the best ?

Steph said...

Yay for you. I'm glad you had a good time. Here's hoping for more of the same.

ocg said...

Friendster is sooo five years ago... are you on MySpace?

;-)

ocg said...

God I just had to sign up for friendster... lord...

(Well worth it)
;-)

Ms Smack said...

I also was trying to work out which guy in the picture was you LOL.. thanks for the postscript!

You guys sound likeable enough, decent and with a cool sense of humour.

I cant work out why you dont have babes hanging off your every smooth-talkin' line :)