Sunday, January 07, 2007

Jennifer and Maryanne, You Have Been Cordially Invite To Attend . . .


In a few weeks, my roomies and I are having a big party here at the apartment. The occasion is a good friend of mine and myself both turn 30 this month, and we're having the party on the day of another close friend's birthday. With three birthday boys inviting friends, plus the other 4 roommates inviting people, and people's friends are inviting friends, we are expecting a big turn-out.

That being said, we really are open to inviting just about anyone at this point, since we're facing the fact that there will be over 100 people up in here. This led us to the conclusion that we need to take a crack at inviting the rarely spotted, but known to be pretty girls who live two buildings down. We're running out of time, and I wanted to get some input from my blog buddies, especially the female ones, on how to invite these gals without looking MAD creepy. Remember, none of us have ever spoken to any of them. Do I . . .

A) Knock on the door and cordially invite them?
B) Wait until the day before and say, "We're having a big party, and it may go late and get loud. If possible, could you just come by and tell us to shut up rather than call the cops." Then, of course, invite them, while looking like the invite was secondary to the warning.
C) Just hope I bump into them, and if I don't, just chalk it up as a loss.
D) Slide a flyer under the door as if I invited the whole block, which won't be the case, but I would design the flyer to look that way.
E) Go over there the night of the party when I'm blind drunk and DEMAND they come over for a drink.

* I always pondered, and I must admit I was a little jealous, about how Larry and Balki got together with two blond bombshell neighbors like Jennifer and Maryanne. You now see the reason for the goofy picture, since their success is fueling the fire of my mission . . .

* Wasn't Family Matters a spin-off of Perfect Strangers? I do believe the Black gal pictured was the sassy elevator operator who we later learned had the misfortune of living next-door to Steven Urkel.

21 comments:

Taylor said...

i loved perfect strangers. i don't know how they landed those chicas. they must have lived in a building full of fugly people that made the guys look like catches.

yes, the black woman ran the elevator at the newspaper where they worked. god, i forget everyone's name on family matters except urkel!

ah, balki bartakamous from the island of mepost!

Taylor said...

BTW, I'm turning 30 in less than two weeks. All the cool kids were born in '77, right?

classyandfancy said...

You should find that shirt that Balki is wearing and get your ass over there. If they don't take the bait, then well they would have been boring at the party. Hot, but boring.

chuckdaddy2000 said...

In recommended order

(B) Would be low-risk with no chance of creepiness and even if they don't come you've at least "started a dialogue"

(A) More gutsy and I think still not creepy.

(D)Points for creativity and work effort. Highly embarassing if ever discovered

(C) Lame excuse to put it off

(E) Chicks dig drunk demanding guys, I hear

Katie in the UK said...

If you want the safe, low risk option - I say Option B. This is the win/win:

1) They might show up!
2) They don't show up, but they now know who you are and follow on conversations now have a starting point. Them: "So how was the party?" or You: "You missed a hell of a party!"

Commence flirtation.

Dding ding ding winners all around!

K.I.D. said...

Go with B. That's what my house always does, and it totally works. Although, you might need to invite the rest of your neighbors depending on how nervous you are about your cover being blown.

Good luck!

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Taylor: If you're in Chicago, you gotta come by to celebrate getting old. You're a friend of Cherry's, right?

Classy: That should would win them over for SURE. While I was searching for photos I found a great shirt with the two of them on it that says, "Don't talk to strangers." It will be mine . . .

Chuck: WOW! Great work on the prioritized responses.

Katie: You and Chuck seem to be in agreement, and I was leaning that way too. Thanks!

K.I.D.: Okay, so now there's a precedent, given your success. That settles it . . .

mysterygirl! said...

You should totally do B, but I'd reword it. Right now it's sort of instructions of what they should do if your party is loud, which comes across as a little strange. You'd probably be better off just saying, "let us know if we're bugging you, or better yet, come by and have a drink with us."

Maybe that seems too forward-- when I lived in Chicago in a coachhouse, I once went to a completely random party with a guy who lived in the front house simply because we met each other for the first time in the laundry room that night, so clearly I am shady. :) Hey, it was fun to try to explain that to his friends...

RevRee said...

First of all, I'm sure the girls have noticed you guys. Sometimes we (women in general) pretend not to noticed you guys, but in reality we've been noticing you for a long time... we've just been waiting for you to get the balls to talk to us.

Second, I think you should stop by with a flier. Introduce yourself, give them your best smile and tell them about the party. Let them know how many of you are having a birthday, make yourself and your dude friends seem super cute (chicks love cute, we love it!) You might even go so far as to tell them it's your 30th and you wanted to make it a good celebration, lots of good ole fashioned fun! be sincere and they will be clay in your hands!

I'm Not Carrie Bradshaw said...

I say go with "B" but just say "we're going to be loud so you might as well just join us" or something like that. Works on me everytime...

Ms Smack said...

Hmm few ideas for you.

I'd drop off a flyer to them and say 'we had intended to do a complete neighbourhood drop, but realised we only want you two there - dont tell the neighbours'

or, write them a little survey to answer.

Two guys are having a party and they want you to come. Do they a, b, c, or d.

It'll make them laugh and laughter always works for me.

Jay said...

I say options A or C -- A for preference

Jay said...

I didn't mean C. I meant D.
Dammit.

Matt said...

Go for B, and if that fails, you'll probably end up doing E anyhow after a few drinks, when anything seems like a good idea.

Wouldn't leave it too late though, just in case they make other plans!

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Mystery: What happened with the laundry room guy?

Rev: Sincerity you say . . . Not my style.

Carrie: Thanks. And thanks again for the Hello Kitty pinching a loaf picture.

Smack: I like your flirty approach! Good lines.

Jay and Matt: I'm going with E (The drunken last minute one).

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Because I think it will make a funny blog post later, I'm going with E too.

Mood Indigo said...

If you go with b - you just need to make sure it's not such a casual invite that they think it would be wierd if they accept or show up. Girls like to feel wanted :)

mysterygirl! said...

Sadly, nothing happened with laundry room guy (who was approximately 6'8"). He and his roommate moved out of the front house about two weeks later (for reasons completely unrelated to our meeting, I swear), and I moved from Chicago about a month after that. But we had a fun time.

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Cherry: The E's have it! liquid courage!

Mood: Girls like to be wanted . . . So true! The chick perspective here is invaluable. Thanks! :)

Mystery: Well, it was a cool story to tell anyway. I once went into a private room of a bar where there was a bday party. I got talking to the bday girl and told everyone we had met in a cooking class. The next thing I know I'm in a bunch of photographs and stuff. Great night.

Katie in the UK said...

On second thought, now that I have read all this, I have changed my vote.

I say Nut up. Be a man. Pull up your skirt and all that.

It has to be Option A all the way.

Seriously, what has happened to all the MEN?


(And this comment has nothing to do with the fact that I just saw a Casino Royale advert.)

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

"Nut up?" Is that something they say in England? Maybe I'll level with these chicks and say, "I deliberated about how to broach this with you ladies, but then I just decided to nut up . . ."