Thursday, June 05, 2008
Ninja Rap and Useless Crap
1. The chorus of Humpin' Around by Bobby Brown sounds exactly like the guitar riff from Dancing Days by Led Zeppelin. I'm not sure if I would have noticed it, but there was a Zep. tribute album out at around the time with a version of Dancing Days by Stone Temple Pilots. I think Bobby should have given the the Zeps full credit, got Jimmy Page to play the guitar, and just called the thing Humpin' Days.
Speaking of Bobby Brown, and I often do, I just saw the video of On Our Own, his contribution to the Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack. It's a pretty bumping song, but why the rap in the middle with awful lyrics about the awful movie? "Grabbed their proton backs on their backs, and they split?" Another bad movie rap around that time came when Vanilla Ice lent a hand to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze soundtrack with Ninja Rap*, complete with an oh-so-stupid chorus of "Go, ninja! Go!" The shit literally "oozed" off that record. MC Hammer cut an equally moronic record called Addams Family Groove, which was anything but "proper."**
You know some rich white guy came up with the idea to make these songs, thinking the kids would think it was cool, but no kid over the age of 8 should have thought any of those songs were cool. Furthermore, none of these artists should have performed them if they had any notion of self-respect. You'd never see NWA doing a Little Mermaid Rap. "Go, Mermaid. Go, Mermaid. Go, Mermaid. Go! Go land yourself a prince without the benefit of your voice, beeyotch! Hans Christian Anderson up in this muthafucka!"
2. I was talking to an African American fifth grader who, in private, informed me that there is a staff member (not this one) who "always be pushin' up on the ladies." That's my new favorite phrase, and I plan on saying it 13 times this weekend alone.
3. When I feel miserable, everything I write about seems so pointless. Even more so than usual.
*I left the Youtube of Ninja Rap going during a mellow track by Travis, and it was real interesting. I smell a collaboration! Mellow, mellow, RAP!
**That was for my main-liar Cherry.