Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Openings and Mammary Glands

I had a friend in college who honest to God thought that Dr. Dre (yes, two Dre posts in a row) was not saying "Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks," but "bitches ain't shit but holes and tits."

Funny, yes, but the lyric almost works better, because his intent was putting down women; So why not break them down to the body parts he finds useful? I mean, I don't support that logic, but if you're a mysogonistic gangsta rapper, it makes perfect sense.

Have you ever heard Ben Folds sing that song? He really sings it with conviction!


There's also a new post of mine at The LC, if you want to swing by there.

25 comments:

Drunken Chud said...

i heart that version now. that is awesome. almost as awesome as "hayseed dixie" doing "gin and juice". seriously, do yourself a favor and download that.

FitnessNerd said...

It's very weird to be reading about Dr. Dre when "It's a Beautiful Morning" starts playing...

Yay, Mammary! (even the gay boys love those...we just don't want to bury our faces in them)

mentalTHREESIXTY said...

That? Was really classy!

Makes me wanna pour out some of my latte on the floor for my dead homies! Word!

fort knocks said...

Hearing that song is so weird. It's like an priest giving you the finger or something.

Sassy Blondie said...

I like it...

The [Cherry] Ride said...

FitnessNerd needs to speak for hisself - I love burying my face in mammories!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Chud: I like that Gin and Juice cover too. It's very well done.

Fitness: I do find that gay men are fascinated by "the booby."

360: Pour out a little latte! Just the foam . . .

Knocks: Good analogy! A priest giving me the bird would give me the creeps. A nun would be worse.

Sassy: Long time no see! I'll have to pop by your page in a sec.

Cherry: "You motorboatin' sonovabitch!"

So@24 said...

I actually wrote a music video to Ben Folds' version. I should send it to you.

pistols at dawn said...

You and Dre make such a good pair.

The Charming Hedonist said...

Where were you on my post about boobs?

Drunken Chud said...

i still need to find the boy band style remake of "boys 'n da hood". that was true hilarity.

Drunken Chud said...

what the hell happened to your cubbies today?

we had a deal.

Chardsy said...

When I opened your page the theme song to "The Jeffersons" started playing. Now all I can think of is the Chappelle Show skit "I Know Black People".

Michael5000 said...

"Holes and tits" rhymes better.

Drunken Chud said...

seriously. cubbies? deal? my tiggies are doing their jorbs. i think we're gonna need arbitration to breech this contract.

just sayin.

I'm Not Carrie Bradshaw said...

...And not totally off the mark from "And go home/with somethin' to poke on."

Liking the Dre posts. Keep up the good work!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

24: Send me the that fo sho'!

Pistols: We do make an unlikely duo, but a cute one.

Charm: I checked it out. Just a little late.

Chardsy: "Hangin' in a chow line!"

5000: I always thought so.

Chud: My Cubbies are a disaster. I can't believe the Cubs and Sox swept each other.

Bradshaw: That line has always made me laugh too.

Jake Titus said...

Lyric mistakes always crack me up. I had a friend who thought that the chorus to AC/DC's Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap was "Doo Doo Dee and the Thunder Chief"

Drunken Chud said...

jake, there's a book called "'scuse me while i kiss this guy". in it, the lyric which you speak of is often misheard as "thirty thieves and the thunder chief".

also apparently i'm not alone in "secret asian man" and "there's a bathroom on the right".

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jake: Thunder Chief!

Chud: I think my cubbies are back in action after beating the shit out of the poor Giants last night.

Drunken Chud said...

about three games too late for my team. who apparently aren't in need of help as we are dispatching with the twinkies quite handily.

Kadonkadonk said...

I'm so going to steal those lyrics. Your friend is a genius!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Chud: LOST to the Giants last night. They're going to break my heart again . . .

Donk: He's an ACCIDENTAL genius, which is even better, cause it's easier.

J Morgetron said...

Have you ever heard Les Claypool's version of "Gin and Juice".

It's daaaaa booooomb-diggity, YO.

Word.

To your mutha.

Drunken Chud said...

dude, lost the series to the twinkies. breakin' my heart. ahh well, on to seattle.