Monday, March 08, 2010

Chris De Burgh Wants To Touch Your Boo-Boos

I was watching a show on VH1 highlighting the Top 100 One-Hit-Wonders of the 1980's, and when they spoke of Chris De Burgh, singer of the super wussy rock 1986 "classic," Lady in Red, they showed a video of him claiming that he has the power to heal people with his hands. He claims to have touched people's legs who could not walk on them, and, behold! - They could walk!

I cannot for the life of me find any video footage of the De Burgher talking about this phenomenon, so if you find a link, please leave it in the comments so that I can embed it on here.



This got me thinking about an old roommate I had and his quasi-girlfriend. The three of us used to drink too much and sing karaoke on the on demand cable, using a mini flashlight as a microphone. My roomy would always do Lady in Red. I would usually do The Rain by Oran Juice Jones, dropping the microphone like the end of a Chris Rock show after the spoken word part at the end of the song, and then I would go straight to bed. Keep them wanting more is what I always say. One night, however, I decided to throw down Lady in Red. Roomy was pissed. He said, "Don't you go trying to out-De Burgh me!"

Give Lady in Red another listen now, and let me know if you think this man can have some super-human powers. What power does this song have over you? The power to induce vomiting? The power to induce slow dancing? Let me know, oh Seven Readers. Let me know so that Chris and I may heal your soul. As always, be sure to turn off my music player on the left panel if you decide to listen to the video, unless, that is, you want to revisit The Rain by Oran Juice Jones.

11 comments:

blamemyrobot said...

Lady in Red is a classic, but it is also in fact a wussy ass song. But The Rain by Oran Juice Jones? Classic R&B Bad-assery!!! That song is just so pimp man. I didn't even know this song when it first came out. An old co-worker of mine years ago played it for me at work and the song pimp-slapped me with its awesomeness. Great choice for a karaoke song man!

Heff said...

I......need a towel, and a moment to clean up my "sick".

JerseySjov said...

ive never heard the whole song, only "laady in reeeed" during movies wherein the romantic female lead wears red at some point [dodgeball comes to mind].

my mom pretended that she had healing hands for a while, as did my friend's father. if they can claim it, by all means this dude can.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Blame: I think you are my new friend. "R & B Badassery" is right on the money!!

Heff: You see! He has powers, just not the way he intended . . .

Jov: He's a magic man with the magic hands, like the Heart song "Magic Man." Maybe those chicks were singing about your dad.

BeckEye said...

I LOATHE that song so much. So much that I wouldn't let Chris DeBurgh touch me with another one-hit wonders hands.

BeckEye said...

apostrophe s

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Beck: Hahaha. No one-hit-wonder's? Not even Jermain Stewart? I love that you came back to point out a grammar error because that is something I would do to myself.

Michael5000 said...

I thought Chris DeBurgh's one hit was "Don't Pay the Ferryman." I'm disappointed to learn that "Lady in Red" was a hit. It is comprehensively awful.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

5000: I don't know the Ferryman one, but it sounds too craptastic to be true.

Michael5000 said...

Knock yourself out. But "Lady in Red" is craptasticer.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

5000: So bad it's good. One of those rare cases.