Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Hell Hath No Fury LIke a Pollack Scorned

A man in Poland dumped his girlfriend and kept his cleaning appointment with her at the dentist.  Not a good idea.  She put him under, and while he was gassed out, her anger took over, and she just couldn't resist removing every last one of his teeth

Now, a few things come to mind here:

1. Why wouldn't he just go to a different dentist?  No one expects someone to do something that twisted, but that's some balls asking her to go through with the cleaning after shit-canning her.  Because it was free, maybe?  What a cheap ass.

2. I heard she can do up to three years in prison for this offense.  Just 3?  I'd say a year for each tooth for a total of 32 would be fair.  Maybe that's a little harsh.  Let's meet halfway and say 16.

3. I also heard that his new girlfriend dumped him when she saw that he no longer had teeth.  Rough week for this fella . . .

4. Another report said that she bandaged him up so that he couldn't see his mouth and told him to take it off when he got home, saying there were some "complications."  With a cleaning?  Who goes unconscious for a cleaning?  The only thing I can think of is that maybe she said it was just laughing gas but slipped on the one that knocked his ass out.  I would never say no to laughing gas.  Wish I had a tank next to me right now, as a matter of fact.  That shit's a blast.

5. If we have learned anything from all of this it is that if you break up with a lady, don't hit her up for free stuff right away and don't be in the same room with her while unconscious while she has pliers in the room.  That should be obvious, right?  Now I know why there are so many Polish jokes . . . .

You can read the article here if you don't believe me.

And now I'm going to post a hot and sexy Polish newscaster with giant boobs in a shameless attempt to get more readership through google searches.  Enjoy.


Gorilla Bananas said...

Why couldn't the fool wait until she'd cleaned his teeth before dumping her? This is what happens when stupidity meets malice.

radioactive girl said...

That is crazy! I wouldn't trust someone I just broke up with to do ANYTHING for me, especially something like that. She shouldn't have done that but shouldn't he take a lot of the responsibility for just being dumb enough to trust her when he was unconscious right after he dumped her?

Heff said...

BOOBS !!!!

That is ALL.

HeatherLynn said...

One time I drove to my ex's house, and I opened his front door and threw a box of his belongings into his foyer....made a bit of a mess...and it was a bit dramatic, but i was 17, and female, so that's to be expected....and I felt bad about it after....but I wonder, did she feel bad about doing this to the poor schmuck? I agree, good rule of thumb, don't be unconcious around ex's....OR ANYONE you don't trust with your personal well being. :)

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gorilla: Haha. Yes! Get that free cleaning. An opportunistic dumping.

Radio: Yes and yes.

Heff: You said it, brother. Knew you'd appreciate that.

Heather: Yup. I didn't even like to fall asleep first at a sleepover.

sybil law said...

Wow! WTF? That's just nuts!! The crazy chick should definitely get more than just 3 years.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Sybil: Glad you see it my way. Yank her teeth out too! Just kidding.