Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Coruscant Heat

It seems like everyone in America is tuning into the NBA finals hoping for the Heat lose, but I wonder what a galaxy far, far away might make of this match up?  This got me thinking which star wars baddies would best represent a team that is such a "wretched hive of scum and villainy."

Darth Vader.  "That's game, bitches!"
LeBron James

             Equals . . . 

Explanation: I like this choice because no one hated LeBron when he was with Cleveland (The Rebellion) but then nobody could stand him when he sold out and signed with the Heat (The Empire).

Dywayne Wade

 Equals . . . 

Grand Moff Tarkin


Explanation: Wade just seems like the kind of guy who would blow up your whole planet just to test out his new Death Star, just to show you what's up.  

Pat Riley.  "Kiss the rings, bitches!"
The Emperor

 Equals . . .

Explanation: Pat and the Emperor are both evil old duded running things from behind the scenes.  I bet you didn't know that under that robe, the Emperor's hair is slicked back.

"Sniff these ringless fingers!"
Selacious Crumb

Equals . . .

Explanation: Erik Spoelstra is that little weasel that no one listens to.  When you see him trying to draw up a play for his guys while they just talk amongst themselves, you just can't help but think he might as well be Selacious Crumb outlining a pick and roll.

Chris "The Ostrich" Bosh
Jar Jar Binks

                  Equals . . .

Explanation: There is nothing deeper here than 'dude just looks like Jar Jar Binks.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
And there you have it, people.  What do you think?  Anyone I missed or anything you would change?  Leave me a comment.                                                                                                                    


sybil law said...

I just don't speak NBA at all.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I do, and THIS was genius...Bravo Dr. Ken.

Kage said...

i didn't understand a single reference in this entire post.

but look! aren't i pretty?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Sybil: You don't speak Star Wars either? What about Klingon?

Candy: Thanks, homegirl!

Kage: Okay. So long as you come by with pics of girls kissing.

The Grand Wave said...

I don't comment often but this made my day. Especially the LeBron comparison. Thanks.