Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Old Crushes, Facebook, and How Roger Aged into His Face

I remember when I was in the 8th grade and in Washington D.C. for a class trip, I was obsessed with a girl from my class.  She had long, flowing hair and blah, blah, blah, but what I really remember best about her was her perfect ripe ass that I would follow around during walking tours like a dumb greyhound chasing the fake rabbit.  You can ask just about any guy, even when he is 79-years-old, and he can tell you the first girl to develop big breasts.  I remember her too, for sure, but the girl with the first grown-ass woman ass is what stands out for me.

She ended up going to a different high school than me, so I never really saw her since the 8th grade.  Well, I just saw her on Facebook, and let's just say I should have left her as a memory on that class trip.  She has had a couple of kids, and I know a lot of women who have families and still look good.  It's not her body that is the problem, it's as if her facial features are too big for her face and vying for position, like a young Roger Waters of Pink Floyd, who is now a good looking older guy, somehow.  Looking at this woman, I actually said out loud, "This is the chick I wanted to bone at all costs?"

Yikes.  That's rough!
He really aged into that face nicely.

Let's see that phrase again in bigger font and centered because it really is funny to see and say out loud, maybe even a good title for an album or skin flick:

Bone at all Costs
Anyone else have a disappointing encounterr with an old crush that they would like to share in the comments?


Gorilla Bananas said...

I'm trying to picture her from your description. Wide mouth? Big nose? She probably developed those features quite soon after you knew her. I hope her butt is still presentable - you deserve a last look for old time's sake.

Anonymous said...

Yeah and vice versa. There was this chick that was about 5 feet tall, 90 lbs perky little tits and was 16 I think. We had a little dating period and I got her naked and NEVER boned her because I was afraid I would somehow get her pregnant. Then facebook, she's still 5 feet but now 5 feet x 5 feet. Her tits are HUGE!!! She's still pretty though, that I will give her. Doable, yeah, when no body's around.

Heff said...

"Huge Tits" did you say ? What's that girl's name and number, Trav ?

Radioactive Tori said...

Yes! A guy that broke my heart in high school friended me on Facebook. I accepted so I could snoop. He sent me message after message telling me how hot I am and he just looked like a hillbilly to me now. I can't believe I was ever upset about him! I un friended after I saw what a mess his life was and honestly I kind of wish I didn't know and could still picture him hit as he used to be.

Radioactive Tori said...

Hit=hot. Sorry for the typo.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gorilla: Good point. Maybe if the rump is still as I remember, she would be hot enough and a good personality could take her far. I guess.

Bama: I laughed out loud that you would still throw it in her if no one was around.

Heff: And there's that interplay between Bama and Heff that I love. Snap!

Radio: So not hillbilly in a hot way? Like Hacksaw Jim Duggin?

Michael5000 said...

This is why you shouldn't surf Facebook at work. And by you I mean YOU, Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. Because there are just some moments when you don't want someone to hear you exclaim "This is the chick I wanted to bone at all costs?" and those moments include most of the moments at work.

Mr. Shife said...

Bummer dude. It always sucks when a good memory gets shot down by reality. I can't think of any girls from junior high that got me excited at this moment. However, when I see an old movie with an actress that used to get me hot and bothered I do wonder what the hell I was thinking but the Phoebe Cates scene in "Fast Times" still holds up pretty well.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

5000: That would not be good to yell out in most places of business, mine included.

Shife: Yes. The "Fast Times" scene is still pretty hot. I bet Judge Rhinehold still tugs his meat when he sees that. But then that would be weird because the scene would cut to him yanking it when he was younger, so then he would be kind of wanking to himself.