Friday, April 04, 2014

Do you all have a Costco in your area?  If you don't know what it is, it's one of those giant stores where you need a membership to go in there, and then you buy things in huge bulk amounts so that it takes you months to finish it.  That way you get things like 30 cents off, but your pantry fills up and there are boxes all over your living room.  It's great!

While shopping there last night, I stopped into the washroom to take a pee, and a guy in a Costco uniform asked if I didn't mind peeing in a giant jar.  I thought it a little strange, but I do enjoy peeing in strange places.  So I saddled up to a jar that must have been a foot and a half wide and two and a half feet tall.  The guy in the uniform was sealing some off and stacking jars onto giant pallets.  I asked what they were going to do with all of the huge jars of urine.  He said that he can't say much about it due to the secrecy, but the bottom line is that they like things in big containers in Costco.  He said it would all make perfect sense some day and that I should just keep peeing.

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7 comments:

Mr. Shife said...

Nice one, Dr. Ken. You got me.

Exile on Pain Street said...

The was devilish. Now I know who I'm dealing with.

Costco makes me crazy. I'll go in for some paper towels and shampoo and end up spending $400 on crap I don't need, like that gigantic jar of dark chocolate covered almonds over in my kitchen. If you'll excuse me...

Gorilla Bananas said...

I'm really disappointed it was a joke, Dr Ken. All that piss could have been put to good use. There's a new technology which uses piss as a battery fuel. Piss could be the new oil.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Shife: Boom! You gotta do CostCo for sure, gotta get those lunchables for the kids. Those were great . . .

Exile: Those chocolate covered almonds were $400??? Just kidding. I will say this for the place, every time I'm in there I discover a new item that I should be buying there every time. You know one I don't buy there? Ketchup. Two enormous bottles that are snapped together. Who the hell goes through that much ketchup? They're each like 40 ounces of Old English.

Gorilla: The one I took this morning could have powered an Olds 88 for a road trip to the Grand Canyon and back. Powerful, yellow, and booze soaked.

Jimmy Fungus said...

I know what's going on here. They are selling the urine to professional athletes so they can pass their drug tests. Too bad Barry Bonds didn't know about Costco.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jimmy: Not THERE is a good idea. Steven Tyler was way ahead of the game with the little balloons full of urine to pass his drug tests in the 80's Now they got fake penises that keep the pee warm too, and that's for when someone actually watches you pee. What great lengths people go to. How's about just not doing drugs? Easy for me to say. I drink enough beer to kill a musk ox, and that's exactly what I plan on doing in a few minutes.

Carrie Rubin said...

I just read about Costco on another blog recently. His words didn't encourage me to head there, and yours certainly don't either. I think I'll stick with Target...

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