Monday, March 03, 2008

I heard At This Moment by Billy Vera and the Beaters today, and I immediately got sad for a relationship I wasn't in when I was nine.* Allow me to explain. When Ellen broke up with Alex on Family Ties I was as crushed as him. I really identified with Alex P. Keaton, probably because he was portrayed so well by Michael J. Fox, who was also Marty McFly, which didn't hurt.** I even wanted to be a Republican because of him, but thank God I didn't go down that road. For whatever reason, maybe I just wanted to be grown up, which I'm still waiting for, but I was jealous of him. I wanted to wallow in some of that sweet, sweet misery and then run desperately through the airport like O.J. Simpson, in the commercials, not like when he was stabbing people, and try to get my mythical girl back.

I did the same thing with What It Takes by Aerosmith. I'd sit in my sister's room, because I was yet to get my own stereo, and listen to that song off their 1989 release, Pump. I'd stare at the cover of the disc with the two trucks fucking, and I'd get sad. Sad for a girl that may or may not dump me when I'd have a legitimate girlfriend, which I had to wait some time for. What it Takes to get a girlfriend turned out to involve confidence and talking to them, which was a little more than I bargained for at the time.

Why am I drawn to misery like that? Why do I love wallowing so? I used to have a playlist on my itunes called Depressing as Hell, and it had over one hundred songs on it. I'd throw that bad boy on random and have a good cry when I needed one. My mood can be so affected by music. For instance, I could be in a great mood, throw on Jar of Flies by Alice in Chains, the best shoot up a big pile of heroin*** record of all time, and my mood will immediately shift to sadness, but it feels good to feel down when the music is good.

Hey readers, does anyone else do stuff like that, or am I just a masochist nut-job? I mean, I know some people enjoy a good tear jerker movie, so I'm no nuttier than them, right?

* Does anyone recall the talk show for which they would later become the house band? Also, make sure you stick around for the extra awkward interview at the end of this clip. I'll be damned if he doesn't look right at the camera and say that the way to a woman's heart is through lots of meatballs and sausage.
** Ever since Michael J. Fox got sick, now this song makes me think of him shaking from his degenerative disease, and that makes me sad too.
***No, I've never done heroin. But if I ever decide to start, this would be the perfect accompaniment.


mysterygirl! said...

That song absolutely reminds me of Family Ties, too. Alice in Chains, strangely, makes me kind of happy, because it reminds me of some fun people I knew my freshman year of high school.

But yes, I have a playlist called "break my heart." It's not as long as the "happy! happy!" playlist, but only because it's far easier for me to be tortured than to be happy.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Yeah, you're just a nutjob.

Grad School Reject said...

Jar of Flies was awesome. Lane Staley and Jerry Cantrell did some great stuff before things broke bad.

Pearl Jam's Ten always makes me think of my freshman and sophomore years of high school, which inevitable leads me to think about some teen angsty stuff.

Also, More than Words by Extreme is associated with my own personal Winnie Coooper from childhood.

logorrheic. said...

i have a playlist that's supposed to make me cry. but it's kind of defective. or it's my tear ducts that are defective. haven't figured out which yet.

JerseySjov said...

maybe it's just me, but i am the only person i know who doesn't have a collection of sad songs for sad time.
i guess just putting in my two cents for when everyone else tells you what their crying-time playlists are called.
minus the cherry ride, apparantly

Drunken Chud said...

i'm with jersey, i do not have a sad song playlist. however, i do have a playlist on my xbox that i rock out to when i'm on a killing spree and it invloves some slow, sappy, sad, easy listening songs. i tend to kill better to "mad world", "gypsies tramps and thieves", and anything rat pack. not sure why that is, but i am one murderin motherfucker when that shit comes on. i think it's the juxtaposition of the violence and attitude of the song.

I'm Not Carrie Bradshaw said...

Oh Gancer. You are totally a nutjob, but that's why we love you so.

Regardless, I TOTALLY have sad song lists. For some reason The Boss/Thunder Road is always on there, some Postal Service and some old skool Johnny Cash.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Myst: Good to always keep your happy list longer than your sad.

Cherry: Thanks. You're a straight shooter. Wait, you're not straight.

Grad: What's your Winnie doing these days?

Logo: Hmmmm. Did Billy Vera get the ducts going? Do you think people called them Billy Vera and the Beat OFFS?

Jov: It's not too late to make that playlist and sink into a deep, deep depression.

Drunk: I'd love to see you singing Monster Ballads and mowing down hookers with an uzi.

Carrie: Thunder Road makes me think of doing burpies in gym class. Those were the worst.

Ms. Laaw-yuhr said...

I am so with you Gancer. I have a playlist on my ipod called "Songs of Infinite Sadness" (I'm maybe given a bit more to hyperbole to you).

non-Blondie said...

Definitely know what you mean with the strong emotions tied to's why I can't really understand people LOVING Justin Timberlake or whatever. I mean, really, Senorita just doesn't touch my heart. Or any other parts of me.

Scary Monster said...

me gonna come backn and comment when meza can unnerstan what the fuck you be talkin about.


radioactive girl said...

I don't have an actual playlist on my ipod dedicated to songs like that, but I do have a ton of them on there. Songs sure bring back emotions better than anything else for me.

zen wizard said...

I am going to guess that Billy Vera and the Beaters were the house band for "Into the Night with Rick Dees."

I have often thought that Contemporary Hit Radio should be called, "Codependent Hit Radio"--because sometimes you are listening and like six songs in a row are going, "I will never be able to live without you/You are the only woman/man in the world for me," etc.

I don't know why people are so attracted to that lyrical subject matter, but--The Eagles notwithstanding--I am sure those big-city radio programmers know what they are doing, because if they lose their listeners they will lose their jobs and won't be able to get free cocaine anymore.

So@24 said...

I have an emo mix too. I thought that everyone had one?

Dude, I'm glad you brought up that Family Ties episode. That episode crushed me... I still think about it to this day. It's one of my early memories when I realized "wow, tv fucking gets real sometimes"

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Law: Infinite Sadness . . . I like it!

Non-Blonde: That Cry Me a River tugs at the heart strings a touch. Just a touch. Just the tip. I know what you're saying though.

Scary: SCARY MONSTER has returned from the dead, but I've confused him . . .

Radio: They TOTALLY can take you right back to a moment in time. It's amazing.

Zen: I knew it was Rick Dees, but I had forgotten that the show was called Into the Night. He sang Disco Duck . . .

Codependent Radio! Hilarious.

24: Now those episodes are made all the more cool by the fact that the actors were falling in love, and they're STILL married.

Laughing through my chardonnay said...

Ahhh, Marty McFly, gotta love that guy.

I have certain songs that no matter what make me cry. When I really need to be sent over the edge (don't judge me on this song or artist) but "Stay or Leave" by Dave Matthews Band ALWAYS does the trick.

So@24 said...

Oh shit. How could I forget?


sha na na naaaaaaaaaa...

thisdayandage said...

maybe a little bit of a nutjob, ha...but not because of this. music definitely impacts my mood. not necessarily to the extent it does for you, but listening to sad music when I'm sad helps me out, and happy music when I'm happy increases that feeling. music is pretty amazing, when you think about it. yea, I'm stating the obvious...whatever.

Helen Mansfield said...

Though "Rooster" was on the album Dirt:

Ain't found a way to kill me yet,
Eyes burn with stinging sweat,
Seems every path leads me to nowhere.
Wife and kids, household pet,
Army green was no safe bet.
The bullets scream to me from somewhere.
Here they come to snuff the rooster, oh yeah.
Yeah, here comes the rooster,
You know he ain't gonna die.
No, no, no, you know he ain't gonna die.
Walking tall, machine gun man,
They spit on me in my homeland,
Gloria sent me pictures of my boy.
Got my pills 'gainst mosquito death,
My buddy's breathing his dying breath,
Oh god please, won't you help me make it through?
Here they come to snuff the rooster, oh yeah.
Yeah, here comes the rooster,
You know he ain't gonna die.
No, no, no, you know he ain't gonna die.

Sometimes when I hear "When the Levee Breaks" by Led Zeppelin, I long to have lived in the South during the 70s. Corny as it sounds, I feel the same way about "Freebird." I would have loved to have heard it when it was fresh and new, before it became a punchline to a million dumb jokes.

"Hello Cleveland!"

Casey said...

I used to pedal to the modal and incredibly depressing Cannonball Blues asperformed by Jerry Douglas and Peter Rowan. I think I got it from an bluegrass anthology. Anyway, the whole point of the song is that She's gone, solid gone. Wish I were dead because she's gone, solid gone.

George Jones' He Stopped Loving Her Today falls in the same depressing as hell category. I love a sad song.

pistols at dawn said...

I still refuse to like Alice in Chains.

zen wizard said...

Wasn't there also a song called, "Barely White"?

Drunken Chud said...

i don't mow down hookers, i mow down terosists, Russians, SAS, or Marines. depending on which one i am playing as. i could never kill a hooker, until after she gave me head. you know, i'm a gentleman like that.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Chardsy: I don't like a lot of DMB, probably more because I associate it with frat boys, cause the music is pretty good, but Two Step is one that is actually an emotional one to me.

24: "Sit Ubu sit. Good dog. Arf!" Was that at the end of the show too? little help . . . Anyone?????

Thisday: You can state the obvious all day, so long as you agree with ME.

Helen: Right on, sister! I so wish I could have heard that shit when it came out, so all my preconceived stuff wouldn't be mixed in. I also wish I could have seen Linda Blair's head spin around before 50 things parodied it. Would have been a mind fucker.

Casey: Is this Casey, like the guy I put on my blogroll and he retired a month later or just a random Casey. Either way, glad you came by, and I think I need to check out that song, like right now.

Pistol: You can refuse all you like, but if you score some smack, you'll be wishing you bought one of their records.

Zen: I believe it. His talk show blew. I think me and you were the only two guys to watch it.

Chud: It's the least you could do. You are the same guy that does the catch from Dirty Dancing, so I KNOW you're a gentleman.

Helen Mansfield said...

Some songs I listen to in order to get my melancholy on:

"All By Myself," Eric Carmen
"Dream On," Aerosmith
"Don't Fear the Reeper," Blue Oyster Cult -- AND, I can still love it, even with the "more cowbell" references --
"Imaginary Lover," Atlanta Rhythm
"Knights in White Satin," Moody Blues
"Clocks" and "Talk" by Coldplay
"I Will Follow You Into the Dark," Death Cab For Cutie
"Maybe Someday," The Cure
"How Soon Is Now," The Smiths
"Man in the Box," Alice in Chains
"I Nearly Lost You," Screaming Trees
"Found Out About You," Gin Blossoms
"Today," by Smashing Pumpkins, only because Billy Corigan was thinking about offing himself when he wrote it.

It's a little disturbing how in touch I am with this post.
Doc, I need a hug!

Jake Titus said...

Never had a playlist for Happy, sad, pissed, confused. . . . . But I do find myself drawn to particular generes depending on a mood. Which is weird because a sad person shouldn't wallow in saddnes but rather, focus on the opposite to change their mood. Nope, not me. . . Sad = drinking, sappy shit music, & sad movies. Angry = a quad latte, Metallica, and a Fight Club marathon. Go Figure?

josh williams said...

How about the blues. A pleasant melancholy is possible and pleasant if you are in the right frame of mind.

Helen Mansfield said...

Josh, the only thing listening to the blues ever inspired me to do is burst my own eardrums so I don't have to listen to the blues anymore.

[jazz hands]

Ron, apparently said...

All music makes me depressed. Mrs. Ron is forced to lock up all sharp implements when the radio's on. If Jr. Ron puts on MTV, Mrs. Ron puts on my shackles, sharpish like. There was a nasty incident one time when the ice-cream van came round our way and we weren't ready for it. Took a week to clean up the blood that time.


Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Helen: Do you really listen to "All By Myself?" So does Bridget Jones! Why do I know that . . .

Jake: Remind me not to get you angry. That sounds pretty agro.

Josh: Yes, indeed. Some old delta blues can feel good when you're down in the dumps.

Helen: Not a blues fan, huh? Well, you ARE a fan of my page, being that it's your 3rd comment, so we'll let you slide! Thanks for coming by, and by, and by!!

Ron: Was it the ice cream man's repetitive music that made you do it? Was there an incident with an ice cream man from your childhood? Let's talk. This is a safe place. I don't want you offing any more ice cream men, and drowning your sorrows in a barrel of rum raisin.

Mr. Shife said...

I don't believe you are nuttier than squirrel's breakfast but I am a whack job myself. Throw on some Lionel Richie and I am like John Cusack in "Say Anything" standing outside in the rain begging for my lady friend in jr. high to give me another chance.

Ron, apparently said...

Did you see High Fidelity? Standing in the rain pining for his bird is all Cusack's got.
Bloody amateur.

Kadonkadonk said...

My playlist is Make You Want To Kill Yourself and it's got about 50 songs.

Ari said...

Sad songs and wallowing are two of the finest human endeavors and even better together. If you haven't ever sat alone in a dark room listening to Metallica's Fade to Black over and over, you're missing an important part of being alive, in my estimation. Carry on!