Monday, January 23, 2012

Response To What the Fuck Facts

Sorry about the language, but that's a twitter account that I follow that tweets out really weird facts all day long. I like to respond to them, for some reason, and here's what I have said to the fine folks at "WTF Facts" so far.

WTF Facts: Men with a certain rare medical condition can breastfeed babies.
Dr. Ken: That "medical condition" is called man boobies.

WTF Facts: In an average day, a four year old child will ask 437 questions!
Dr. Ken: And they will say "Mom" 899 times trying to get your attention. Annoying!

WTF Facts: More people have cell phones than access to a decent toilet.
Dr. Ken: That's just crazy, right? I love texting from my "decent" toilet.

WTF Facts: Women fart just as much in a day as men.
Dr. Ken: More people have cell phones than access to a decent toilet.

WTF Facts: Facebook was directly related to 1/3 of divorces (Don't quote this stat. Couldn't find the original).
Dr. Ken: Twitter needs to step

WTF Facts: 42% of couples have sex in front of a pet (another guessed stat because I couldn't find the original)
Dr. Ken: Hell no. My iguana judges me.

WTF Facts: Two dogs survived the sinking of the Titanic.
Dr. Ken: Does this turn into a joke about how those two formed the pedigree for Chuck Norris' dogs?


sybil law said...

Now I have 2 people to follow! Well, I mean you and What The Fuck Facts.
Also, man boobies - moobies. Or moobs.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Sybil: I like to say "Man Boobies." I don't think moobs will ever quite catch on for me.

Kadonkadonk said...

42% seems really low. If you have a pet, you have sex in front of it.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

'Donk: You could be right there. I just took a guess at it. Whenever I dated a girl with a dog, I insisted he wait outside. Gave me the willies.

Michael5000 said...

"Twitter needs to step." : D