Saturday, March 24, 2012

Tournament of Bad

I have been listening to a Chicago sports radio show that is doing a "Tournament of Bad," which is like March Madness only really crappy things in the world competing against each other in a tournament with people voting for the worst ones that advance through each bracket.  The Final Four were White Crayons, Wet Socks, State of Pennsylvania and No Turn on Red.

I decided to fill out my own bracket.  Here's what I came up with . . .

In the Bob Rohrman Schaumberg Ford bracket, I got No Ketchup on Hot Dogs Militants advancing to the final four, with some very close games against "Neighborhood" Cats and Pageant Moms.

Over in the Tilted Kilt regional I really had some problems because there are so many crappy ones.  Smell of Burnt Popcorn, People Who Still Write Checks, Taking Pics of Your Food are all bad . . . I'm going with The Smell of Burnt Popcorn because that just lingers all day at work.  Such a bonehead move that we all have to smell.

Up in the Townstone Financial section, I gotta say that I like Gym Teachers, Sharing a Hotel on Company Trips, Marathon Runners Who Brag, Self-Thrown B-Day Parties . . . Yeah.  That's the one.  People who throw their own parties are annoying, and even worse are the people who have multiple days, like before the party you go out to dinner and they pick a pricey ass place, or even worse, a tapas style place where everyone passes around tiny little expensive plates that you feel bad eating too much of, so you just have a tiny bite, but all you want to do is eat one entire sausage dish because it's the only one you like . . .

Last but not least we got the Menards bracket where I have Unsalted Nuts, Using the Word "Supposably," and Sporting Event Marriage Proposals all making a good showing, but in the end, Burning the Roof of Your Mouth was just too much for them to handle.

Then in the Final Four . . .

I got No Ketchup on Hotdogs militants edging out Burnt Popcorn smell in a nail biter.

Then I got Self Thrown Birthday Parties beating Burning the Roof of Your Mouth pretty handily.

In the final, Self Thrown Birthday Parties beat up on No Ketchup on Hotdog Militants.

What do you think, Seven Readers?  Anyone want to give me their Final Four in the Tournament of Bad?


sybil law said...

1. Fucked Up Single Moms Fucking Up Their Daughters for Life.

2. General Self Important Douchebags AKA Know It All Know Nothings with No Power.

3. Perpetually Optimistic Assholes

4. People Who Love Coldplay

I basically got all my teams off of people from Facebook. Can you believe I know those fuckers?


Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Haha. I based some of my hatred on Facebook "friends" too. Well done!

b.burjan said...

personally, i thought the seedings were out of wack...i don't know how wearing pajama pants outside did not get a higher seed..also, enlarged hearts is worse than vending machine sandwiches? come on..i could go on about this.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Burjan: Haha. Enlarged hearts seem like a bigger deal than a lot of these, right?