Monday, December 27, 2010

More Crap You Don't Need To Know About Dr. Ken

I couldn't think of a good topic today, so what you're going to get is one of these flipping questionnaires. No, I'm not going to tag any of you to answer these because then you feel obligated to do it, and you feel like a jerk. Just enjoy. Or don't. Either way, but I'll do my best to make it interesting.

1. If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be?

I'm going to say somewhere in Colorado because I like the mountain air out there, but if we're saying anywhere in the world, I think I'd say somewhere like Sweden or Norway. I'll let you know more if I make it out to Scandinavia this summer. Actually, I think I'm more of a city guy, so it might just be here in Chicago. It's all very stressful - probably why I'm a perennial renter.

2. What is your favorite article of clothing?

I just bought a Cleveland Browns shirt that looks good on me. I became a fan one day at the bar when my Bears quarterback threw 3 pics to the same player in the same game. I decided at that point that I'd go sit on the couches with the Browns fans in the bar, and they played an awesome game, beating the defending champ Saints. After that, they beat the Patriots! The rest of the season they started to suck again like they usually do, but I always liked "The Brownies," and I always will.

3. Favorite physical feature on the opposite sex?

I'm not sure there is a name for it, but I like that hip bone area where you can grab onto it - and I don't necessarily mean that in a sexual way. It's just one of the many contours on a woman that make them beautiful, and I appreciate it.

4. What's the best CD that you bought?

A buddy just downloaded the entire Kyuss catalog for me (they are the guys that went on to form Queens of the Stone Age), and they are unbelievable and great to listen to at the gym. A reformed version of Kyuss without the guitar player are touring right now but only in Europe, which seems to be the case with every band I get into.

5. Where are your favorite places to be?

At Wrigley Field and anywhere with my friends and family, "wrastling" with my nephews, making them laugh uncontrollably.

6. Where's your least favorite place to be?

Waiting. For anything. When I was a kid, I'd ask my parents before we went out to eat, "Are we having fast food or slow food?"

7. What's your favorite place to be massaged?

My hands. The gal who cuts my hair puts a hot towel on my face while she gives me a hand massage, and it's like heaven. She also does the scalp, which would place in a close second.

8. What's most important: strong in body or strong in mind?

The mind for sure. What a dumb question - must have been written by someone who is week minded but with shredded abs and shit.

9. What time do you wake up in the morning?

7 AM on weekdays
10 AM on weekends

10. What is your favorite kitchen appliance?

I'm big on the blender lately, whipping up protein shakes most every day with bananas, peanut butter, and sometimes coffee - because I'm a caffeine junky. A good question for one of these things would be, "Would you rather give up caffeine or alcohol?" As a guy who likes vodka/red bulls, having both drugs at once, I don't have an answer for this. Told you it's a good question.

11. What makes you really angry?

People who suck and can't have a good time and seem to have no problem sucking a whole room of people into their suckiness.

12. Do you believe in an afterlife?

Sadly, no. I don't, but I hope I'm wrong. Odds are if it is true, and I spent my whole life not believing, then I probably wouldn't be going there, but it would be good to know people deserving of going would.

13. Favorite children's book?

"A Light in the Attic" by Shel Silverstein. He was the man, and he wrote "Boy Named Sue" too. When I was a kid, I really thought that he had a beard covering his whole body like that one goofy cartoon of him in the book.

14. What's your favorite household chore?

I really don't mind cleaning the bathroom that much, and it feels so good to have it done. Jeez, that one was boring. Sorry.

15. If you have a tattoo, what is it?

I don't, but I always wanted to get the Autobot and Decepticon symbols on each shoulder blade, as my shoulder region is one of my presentable regions. However, then the "Transformers" movies came out and sucked, so I scratched that idea. Still, since I'm turning 34 in like a week, I think the whole tattoo thing has passed me by, and with it tattoos based on toys.

16. What's in the trunk of your car?

A baseball bat. I work in some tough neighborhoods sometimes, so I like to keep a perfectly legal Louisville Slugger in the old trunk for emergencies.

17. Do you prefer sushi or a hamburger?

Well, you caught me immediately following a terrible sushi experience, so I'm going to go burger, being the more consistent of the two. So tonight, I was already giving the driver a really generous tip, and then he conveniently didn't have enough change, making me tip him even more. Then they forgot my wasabi, and the rolls were falling apart and not very good. A burger is always a burger - hard to mess up, unless it's at Hooters, but then there is good scenery, usually.

So, yeah, if you want to do this questionnaire or another, go for it. If you want to comment on one of these in the comment section, great. I will probably suspect that you only read that one question, and I'm not saying I would blame you for that.

Gance on.


BeckEye said...

Wait. You bought a Cleveland Browns shirt? Like, you gave someone money to give you one? Of your own free will? Hmm. Strange.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Beck: Oh yes. It's killer. I love The Brownies. Love that there's nothing on the helmet and they have brown jerseys. Represent!

Gorilla Bananas said...

It's interesting that you like having your hands massaged, because there's a wacky theory that the hand is full of pressure points which relate to different areas of the body. If a pressure point hurts, the corresponding body part is unhealthy, and pressing the pressure point will act as a cure. So the theory goes.

Andrew said...

I've only been to a place that gives a hand & arm massage during a haircut a few times. Did not like. It tickled & made me uncomfortable. I ended up just telling the girl to stop & tipped her anyway.

Radioactive Tori said...

I am totally with you on the waiting thing. I can not stand waiting for anything.

A friend of mine gives the best hand and scalp massages. Seriously, the best thing ever.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Andrew: What? Maybe you're more of a deep tissue man if you don't like the tickling.

Radio: Glad you're with me on the waiting, hand, and scalp things. : )
Hope your holiday was good with you and the kids.

JerseySjov said...

would you have the time in an emergency to get the bat out of the trunk?

and i think they call that part of the body the "love handle", but it's usually only referred to when the region is too flabby.

Michael5000 said...

Hip bone area. Concur.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jov: Well, I usually get my bag out of the trunk in the morning and put it back in at night, so I figure I could just spin around with the bat and start swinging for the fences.

5000: Glad you're with me on that one, Michael! A man after my own heart, old friend!