Saturday, July 16, 2011

Jorts' Lesser Known Cousins

I'm having my second National Redneck Appreciation Day (NRAD) celebration/moonshiner tonight, and putting together my outfit from the local thrift shop was great fun and informative.

I had my heart set on a pair of jean shorts (jorts), but that begot a denim dilemma: everything needed to be denim. Before I knew it, I had myself full-blown, full-body Canadian tuxedo.

So, I got a jean hat and a jean shirt. Then later, while cutting my jorts shorter to get them nice and frayed, I made a some jean loops, two of which can be used for guests who don't show up with outfits; now they can wear jean hats (jats), one of which I inadvertently cut a tail in the back like a coon skin cap, or a Davey Jocket. Yet another smaller loop I'm currently wearing as a jean bracelet (jracelet) or a jean watch (jwatch), if you prefer.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I also bought a jean wallet (jwallet), but it's really more like a jean coin purse (coin jurse).

They didn't have any jean shoes, but that's probably for the best because then they'd be called jews.

How about you, Seven Readers? Have you thrown any theme parties lately or been a guest at one?


Andrew said...

I've been to a redneck party once in college. I cut a hole in my crotch just for the occasion. I also combed my hair straight down in a very unintelligent manner.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Unintelligent manner! Haha.

b.burjan said...

i've been to a robert goulet party before...also i'm proud to admit i own a pair of jorts, that i actually wear in public...yeah. i said it.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Burjan: A Robert Goulet party? I'd go to that in a New York minute.