I don't have big concept blogs lately because I've been working harder at my job and all writing efforts have been going towards a play I'm writing. Actually, if anyone has any ideas where I should perform this thing in Chicago or any other input, hit me with an email. I'm being sincere, for once, when I say that although I've never met most of you, your opinion matters to me a great deal.
Random Topic #1:
Pop Quiz: Who's music is in the grocery store, the drug store, and the waiting rooms of doctor's offices more than any mofo on God's green earth?
Answer: Sir Elton John. I know I read somewhere that he sold a bunch of his music to things like that, but I couldn't find any evidence of that for you right now. I'm in a hurry, so you'll just have to trust me or look it up on your own. Anyway, keep an eye out for his stuff playing the next time you're stopping in a Wallgreans to buy some Flaming Hot Frito's*, salted cashews, and a Gatorade. Well, that's what I was buying because it was late after playing a volleyball game and I wanted to get some "nourishment" before passing out. As I'm reaching for my Arctic Butt Slammer, or whatever, Gatorade, I was singing along to Sir Elton, only substituting gross words, which I often do, much like my fun Gatorade title. I was singing, "Daniel's beating off tonight on a plane . . ."
Random Topic #2:
The Booze sample Lady got me again today at the grocery store. She's a retired teacher, so we always get talking about teaching, since we have that in common, and then we get talking about booze, since we really have that interest in common. She gave me a great tip, and that is this: You can skimp on a Shiraz, even some $5.99's will do, but you never on a sauvignon blanc because a shitty one will be bitter. She's actually right because I know I got one once that was undrinkable. If something has booze in it and it's undrinkable for me, that is saying something. So, for that tip and for being a cool lady, I felt obliged to buy a quality sauvignon blanc. You see, bet you didn't think you'd get a good wine tip on this here rag, did you?
All right, two topics will have to do it for now because I'm taking the lovely Gancer Girlfriend and this here bottle of wine to a BYOB sushi joint. Tomorrow I'll be at Wrigley Field, hopefully where I'll be watching my beloved Cubbies clinch a playoff spot. I don't have any tips for how to buy a non-bitter Old Style beer at the ball park; they're supposed to be bitter, and they're perfect that way.
*I love these because I never got to enjoy Flaming Hot Cheetos without discomfort due to my lactose intolerance (my roommate calls me a "lactard"), so the launch of these babies was like something sent down from on high from the empty calorie gods.