Thursday, October 04, 2012

What you don't want to do when you're picking up some wine at the store is go for the jumbo bottle where there are like three bottles worth in one.  It seems to make a lot of sense: easier to carry than three bottles, a better price than three bottles.  The down side is you end up knocking down loads of it, and it barely looks like you made a dent.  So, with so much to spare, you gladly pour yourself another until you're where I'm at - too buzzed up to want to leave the house, which is actually good from a saving money standpoint.

I figured since I'm pleasantly buzzed with nowhere to go or a willingness to go there, this would be a good time to tell you all a story.

I was working out to the Insanity DVD, mummy-kicking and sweating buckets, when a morbidly obese Latino kid who looked to be around 11-years-old struck up a conversation with me.  "Is that how you got skinny?" he asked.  I told him not specifically, but that I do like people telling me what to do or I get lazy.  Undeterred by the fact that I was looking straight at the screen (never directly at him) and doing flipping burpies, or whatever, he then asked if I could tell him what exercises to do.  He tried to do what I was doing, but I got the feeling that he was self-conscious about the way his body looked when jumping up and down, which I get.  He looks like a young man who never works out, so there was no need to force him out of his comfort zone when getting any kind of work out of him is probably a success.

So when I would get breaks in the action on the DVD, I would hurry up and give him things to do, like riding the eliptical for a mile or so, and doing a set of curls, bench press, and push-downs.  I gave him realistic reps to shoot for, enough to challenge him, but not so much where he was going to either puke or get so incredibly sore he would never come back.  After a few cycles of those activities, he seemed quite pleased with himself, and he was pushing himself surprisingly hard.

He wanted to switch discs on my workout to play the dancing game on the xbox, but I told him that as long as he stayed active for the remaining 37 minutes of the TV workout, I would set it up and dance away with him.  And he actually did steadily work out for the duration.  At one point he smiled and pointed out how much he was sweating.  Then our sweaty asses did "Promiscuous" on the dance game together.  It was funny because in the top corner it shows your own body above the dancer to show where you are in relation to the sensor, and his body was absolutely huge.  However, that didn't matter because this young man was putting me to shame, racking up perfect scores on the majority of his moves while I was thrilled with a "good" of my own.

He was ready to work out again tomorrow, but I told him I have to fly out to L.A. right after work and Monday was no good, but I could meet him at the same time and place on Tuesday.

This whole episode could be my repents for my negative feelings I have had for overweight people over the years (like the previous post, for instance).  Here is a kid who may have the odds stacked against him: maybe a poor home life, nothing but junk food ever in the house, childhood depression, being the victim of constant teasing.  And here he is looking to push himself to "get skinny," taking the initiative to ask for help.

Well, I hope I can help this fella, and not to make myself feel less guilty or like a decent person, but because he seems like a really sweet kid who seems to already feel a little better about himself. 


The Grand Wave said...

First off, I can only hope the magnum bottle of wine you were drinking from was El Gato Negro. If not, make it a point to snag that one next time. As for the kid, I'm sure he appreciates someone actually taking time out of their day and not being judgy with him. Props on that. Now go drink more cheap wine.

Heff said...

The wine portion of this post had me INSTANTLY giggling like a school girl, and gave me a horrible case of diarrhea.

As far as the fat kid, maybe he's built like Ron Jeremy in other areas as well.

Fuck, nature gives EVERYBODY SOMETHING.....

Anonymous said...

Here's the plan, based in part on Heff's response. Get the BIG jug o wine, give some to the kid, it will give him a false sense of awsomeness, tell him to go get a girl, and fuck fuck fuck his way to a slimmer him.

Word Verification Vis Wong

Anonymous said...

I think that should be "awesomeness."

The Igloo Oven said...

Ha, I remember drinking a whole jug of red wine after my storefront theatre show got shut down! It made for an unproductive day at the corporate photo place. But I didn't call off, because you know how that place handles that sort of thing...

I hope to see more posts about you befriending this kid a mentoring him. Like a Harold and Maude kind of story.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Grand: Good tip on the wine, and he did some to enjoy the time. Probably his parents don't pay him much attention, so good that someone was looking out, right?

Bama: I like this plan, except for the part where I buy the 11-year-old booze.

Igloo: Yes. I saw you that night. As I recall, you were drinking out of a very small cup and constantly filling it up with Carlo and Rossi. I still want to know who blew the whistle on such a small scale theater.

Sista said...

So funny about the wine - I just did the same thing the other night. Those are deadly. Good for you helping out that kid.