Monday, November 09, 2009

Boys Don't Cry

I busted out crying out of nowhere in a diner late Friday night. It was a combination of a scary doctor experience, a really sad thing going on at work, and far, far too many cheap Mexican beers. It was in front of Gancey Girlfriend, and I was a little embarrassed, it being the first time I ever broke down in front of her. But then it occurred to me that I haven't cried at all in the two years I've been with her, not even alone. Is that unusual?

I found a statistic online that said men cry, on average, 1.4 times per month. I don't think that's right. I mean, a lot of men well up with tears when they watch their favorite male tear jerker like Brian's Song, but as far as full-on weeping? It's pretty rare, I think.

How often do you cry? If you're a female, how often does a male close to you cry? Is okay for men to cry, and can you put a number to it, or does it have more to do with the intensity of the bawling?

For the record, Gancey Girlfriend was extremely supportive and understanding, which is awesome, cause if I saw a guy who looked like me blubbering into his eggs at a diner, I'd have flung hash browns at him.


Casey said...

I think men are more emotionally vulnerable when they eat.

I was brought down one time by biscuits and fried chicken.

Well, that and a rough divorce, two friends dying, one good friend leaving, a tenuous financial footing, and my dog mauled my niece and had to get put down. But the chicken, similar to mom-style, was the catalyst.

I think you should get a pass at dinner time.

The Igloo Oven said...

Eggs are a primal food.

I have found I lost the ability to cry but wanted to - several times after working at dark, indoor location where photos are taken in front of a german death machine, I wanted to come home and bust into tears and let it all out. But I stuffed my face instead and went to bed at 9pm and had terrible work dreams. I envy you.

Ah! - I just remembered - I cut up some onions the other day to make a helluva beef n barley soup, and my tear ducts just went absolutely bonkers and Igloo Oven girlfriend comes home to my red, puffy, spasmodic eye lids.

JerseySjov said...

i dont cry that often. i shed a couple tears when i was on my ride to the emergency room a couple weeks ago, but i can't remember the last time i was emotionally crying.

ive seen my dad cry once, but i dont think ive ever seen my brother or my close male friends cry.
that being said, i dont think there's anything wrong with men crying unless you're walking around bawling 24/7.

Miss Organizized said...

My ex cried only once in our three year relationship. My current BF has "welled up" a couple of times, but I've never seen him physically break down. I think more dudes need to just let 'er go. Then I wouldn't feel so nuts all the time. I cry about every freakin' thing. Chicks. I tell ya. PS The Dane Cook crying bit is a solid piece of humor.

HeatherLynn said...

I'm sappy....and I cry a lot, depending on what i'm watching on television. Brothers and sisters (my fav. tv. show), it damn near makes me cry every episode! ;)

I was with my ex-husband for six years and in the time we were married, I only ever saw him cry/tear up like twice. He full on sobbed, ONCE.

The first time he teared up...grandpa's funeral.

Second time: Dad in hospital having brain surgery.

Full on Bawling: Me leaving.

Three times, six years....and all VERY emotional times, death, near death and divorce.

But everyone is different....and sometimes, maybe by holding things in and NOT crying for two years...makes you more susceptible to just have a little break down every once in awhile when things stack up on ya. It's not like the things you've been dealing with aren't nerve racking....nail biting etc. they are, so don't be got a lot on your plate. Let it out brutha...

*shrugs*' happens. You're Human. God wouldn't of given you tear ducts if he never thought you'd need em.


JerseySjov said...

Casey said... "I think men are more emotionally vulnerable when they eat."

now that im revisiting the thought, the time my dad cried was when we were at the dinner table.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Casey: That's a rough year, man!

Igloo: I'm blanking on the kid who said German Death Machine at work . . . Black kid . . . Went to teach English in Korea or something . . . Clint, right? Yes!

You need a good cry, Igloo. Let it go, brother!

Jov: Yeah, no way my kids are ever seeing me cry. For one, my kids will never see me as drunk as I was the other night.

Miss: Thanks for commenting! I saw you on the follower list, and was wondering if you'd be a permanent lurker/accident like a bunch of them are, so thanks! Also, almost that entire Dane Cook stand-up I thought was bad, but the crying bit was funny. "It's not easy . . . "

Lynn: Thanks! Is there a blog about you leaving your husband? Send me the link. I need a good cry. : )

Jov: Yeah. I cry on the shitter when I eat at White Castle.

HeatherLynn said...

Here's some sad links for ya! ;)

Jenni said...

I suppose calling you "lumpy" didn't help things. It was meant to make you smile, God, I'm such an asshole.

I cry often enough, and at things like that damn commercial with the dogs and Sarah McLaughlin singing in the background, that one KILLS me. I also cry when I hear the Star Spangled Banner, but only at sporting events, which is awkward.

The other half doesn't cry very often. The last time I saw him cry was when we had to put our cat to sleep about a year and a half ago. I could probably count on one hand the times I've seen him cry and we've been "together" 15 years...Now that I think about it, that seems strange.

Miss Organizized said...

I found your blog googling "big wheel ice cream" a bunch of time ago, and rediscovered it in my bookmarks recently! Good stuff keep 'er up!!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Lyn: I'll swing by there if I need a good cry again! My anual cry.

Jenni: Yeah. He's the strong silent type like me, which is really the outwardly strong inwardly miserable type. Why don't you call him the BETTER half? Just the OTHER one?

Miss: Hahaha. Found me through Big Wheel Ice Cream. Hahaha. Why were you looking that up?