Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I'm lying in bed here typing with tons of rice expanding in my belly. The problem about me cooking for myself is that I almost always finish everything. Today I put what didn't fit on my plate in a Tupperware and put it in the fridge, but then I was still hungry. So, I dumped some hot sauce in the Tupperware and worked it all down.

The thing is, I like cooking for myself. I like that there's no pressure for it to be any good. If it's shitty, oh well; I'm eating it anyway because I spent thirty minutes on it.

I'm definitely far from being a good cook. My dad can cook like a master chef, while I can't even cook like a Dungeon Master. But I don't care! I just like it to be easy, be not hungry anymore, clean it up, and get back to Dr. Ken time. I don't ever see myself slaving over something you have to wrap up, baste, flip it over, slap it up, flip it, rub it down. Oh, no . . .*

This post was kind of boring, so I'm now going to post a video of a big lady beating the holy snot out of a drunk guy. This woman beat the tar out of this fella for all the women out there who have experienced domestic violence. The beauty of it is that she knew she could take him because she kept daring him to fight back! And what's more pathetic is that he threw the first punch, when she was helping him up, no less! I really think she should get a UFC contract. Actually, there's one point where I thought she was going to curb the guy like in American History X. As always, turn off the music player to the right if you want to really hear the beating and the guy filming it comparing her dragging down the street to someone "walking the dog." Brilliant. Oooh, another good part is when the little girl comes up to show her that something was broke, and she says, "Please don't show me that at this point in time" and goes right back to walloping that fool! I absolutely love this clip.
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*First person to get that reference gets a virtual high five - maybe even a pat on the back.

8 comments:

radioactive girl said...

I totally got it and now the song is stuck in my head. Thanks for that.

I have been super lazy about dinners until last night. I was starving and realized that all I had eaten all day was a bunch of apples with peanut butter. Apparently that is my lazy alone food. I finally made a really good dinner for all of us and ate so much I thought I would explode and there is so much leftover that I may never have to cook again.

Heff said...

Hmmm. That reference BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF ME (LOL)

Mr. Shife said...

Heff should get a virtual high five for his awesome comment. I tried to cheat and Google it but I couldn't lie to you Dr. Ken so I have no idea where the reference is from. Enjoyed the video. Just confirms to me that I should never get in the way of an angry black woman. Take care.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Radio: You see, you're lazier when it's just for you, right? Hey, you said you know the reference, but you didn't name it! Still no virtual pat on the back until you say it. : )

Heff: I get it. Heh. : )

Shifer: Yes. Let Shife's words be a lesson to us all. She's quick on her feet for a big person! I think she could start on defensive line for most NFL teams, no?

Sister said...

"Do Me" by Poison baby!!! High-five for me.

radioactive girl said...

Do Me by Bel Biv Devoe. Right?

radioactive girl said...

and Devoe should have been DeVoe...it's on my ipod and came on last night while we were eating our "fancy" dinner. I quickly turned it off because it is not quite child friendly.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Sister: Yes! One of the only high fives I can deliver in person, and it's all yours. : )

Radio: Yeah, I had a feeling you knew it, but you didn't put it into words. Actually, I think "Do Me" compliments any fancy dinner quite nicely.