Thursday, November 11, 2010

Rule #34 Part 2: Making Time With Furniture and Horny Robots

Rule #34: Generally accepted internet rule that states that pornography or sexually related material exists for any conceivable subject (from

The next two searches to look into the legitimacy of Rule #34 (see previous post for an explanation) proved just as fun as the first, but we came out of Google search number four with one loss, batting three for four. Remember to turn off the music player to the right before playing the tracks. Enjoy!

First off, Crom wanted to see what was out there in the way of "furniture f'ing." We were losing hope, but then Dr. Ken modified the search and came up with a young Asian woman in a room doing a broom, a chair, and apparently later a piano, somehow. We clicked away in the interest of time after the chair, but I'm a little curious to know how she got freaky with the piano and if she played a song with her . . .

Listen to track one here:

Next, Dr. Ken was curious to see if there was any porno out there with one of his childhood heroes, Transformer leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime. Turns out, we were only able to find a Family Guy clip of him doing it, but Dr. Ken was hoping more for a live action clip of a guy with a costume, even if it was homemade, getting it on. We had to count this as a loss. It was our first taste of defeat, and sadly, it wouldn't be our last . . .

Listen to track 2 here:

What do you think so far, Seven Readers? Remember, after I post all ten clips, I will post a downloadable MP3 of the whole thing so that you can listen to this goofy crap on the train or in the car or wherever you like to listen to weird stuff like this.


Gorilla Bananas said...

There's a Brazilian film version of the Dracula story where the lunatic Renfield rapes the furniture in his room.

I'm glad to hear you could wank to a cartoon parody. That gives you the rank of Colonel in the wanking hierarchy. A General can wank to the thought of a cartoon parody.

Scott Oglesby said...

It’s the strangest thing but Louis from Family Guy turns me on. I don’t know if it’s her cartoon voice or her cartoon body, which is smoking hot by the way, but she makes me feel a certain kind of way. That ‘kind of way’ is like a freak for perving on a cartoon character, in case you were wondering.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gorilla: That Renfeld probably got awfully lonely in that big house, so I don't fault him for that.

It was Crom who said he could wank to most anything (wish we would have said each others names more to make it easier to follow), and he is nothing short of a Wank General.

Thanks for coming back for the second installment! : )

Sott: Oh, you're not weird at all for that. She's hot as hell. I'm not sure how a middle management fatass like Peter landed a chick like that. We are all hot for cartoon ladies because they have totally unrealistic bodies: insanely small wastes with insanely big boobs, kind of like Jennifer Love Hewitt. Thanks for dropping by again, and I hope you enjoyed it. : )

Mr. Shife said...

Awesome. I love this. I always thought if you think of something no matter how bizarre then it is out there somewhere. I really like rule #34. Did I mention awesome yet?

Andrew said...

This is awesome.

And of course she was wearing a school girl outfit. Would we expect anything less from our neighbors to the East?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Shife: Thanks, brotha! From you, awesome means something. : )

Andrew: Yeah, she was a good looking school girl/flight attendant, but then she got a little too freaky with random objects.