Friday, November 26, 2010

Rule #34: The Final Chapter

Rule #34: Generally accepted Internet rule that states that pornography or sexually related material exists for any conceivable subject (from

Well, at last, we have come to the end of our journey. In these two searches to disprove/prove Rule #34, Crom first decided to search for MC Escher porno. Now, Dr. Ken had no idea what this would entail, but Crom, for some reason, had some ideas about infinite views of one fornication where you can see other fornication within that one, and so on. It's astounding what this guy can come up with, which is why he was a worthy guest star for this project! Alas, the boys came up empty handed here, but it was a bold artistic shot, so one has to applaud their efforts. As always, be sure to turn off the music player on the right panel before hitting play so that you can hear the moans and growns as well as the clickity-clacks of the keyboard because it just makes it more . . . organic.

Lastly, Dr. Ken decides to search for BBQ porno, and they weren't taking no for an answer on this search. This one clocks in at around 15 minutes or something absurd like that, and the tangents are pretty entertaining. You will hear a reference to "Thick as a Brick" by Jethro Tull (a song of epic length like this podcast), how the boys feel about two men and one girl in a scene (and the danger of crossing the streams), and much, much more. Give it a listen, and if you skip around, they'll understand.

Now, let's break down our totals and see what kind of percentage the boys had at finding porno on the Internet based on subject pulled randomly, on the spot, out of their heads . . .

1. Care Bear Porn: Success

2. Snot Porn: Success

3. Furniture Porn: Success

4. Optimus Prime Porn: Failure

5. Cthulhu Porn: Success

6. Werewolf Porn: Success

7. Wacky Wall Walker (TM) Porn: Failure

8. Meat Tenderizer Porn: Failure

9. Water Slide Porn: Failure

10. Gargoyle Porn: Success

11. MC Escher Porn: Failure

12. BBQ Porn: Success

That made our researchers 7 for 12, roughly 58%

What did we learn? Shit, were we supposed to learn something? Forget that! We had a lot of fun, and we hope you did too. Actually, we hope you had as much fun as those gargoyles seemed to be having.

Overall, Seven Readers, what did you think? Do you have an idea for Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's next podcast? Anyone going to bump these on their ipods on the way to work, perhaps loud enough on the train for other people to hear? Maybe a werewolf orgy will break out? Who knows?


Gorilla Bananas said...

I think you should count your failures as "yet to be uncovered". The BBQ example shows these quests can be a lot more subtle that googling "--- porn".

For your next assignment you could discover some interesting themed blogs like:

There must new ones out there just waiting to be discovered.

Heff said...

I'm pretty sure there's GOT to be some Optimus Prime porn out there....

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gorilla: That's terrific point: yet to be discovered. It really softens the blow, and you're right that we could have been more diligent with each one, like with the BBQ search. But, it just would have been a bitch editing everything. Plus, Crom had a rough night the night before, and his stomach was upset after that snot porn.

Heff: Yeah, I'm sure some dingbat put on an Optimus costume and layed his wife in it. It just had to have happened.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Everyone: I spot checked the players for these clips/just wanted to hear the comfort of my own voice, and I noticed that I put the wrong clips. I had BBQ where Escher should have been and Care Bears somehow where BBQ should have been. Sorry, Seven Readers. All better now . . .

BeckEye said...

NO water slide porn??? That's truly shocking.

Scott Oglesby said...

Well this has been a fun and entertaining journey. I would have said enticing but I’d be lying. From the very first attempts with Care Bear porn and snot porn I lost my own, personal mojo and I still haven’t gotten it back. Not even after Gargoyle porn. If you can believe that.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Beck: Yeah, that's one I think we could have found, like a Wet Banana porn or something?

Scott: Sorry to take you down those dark, dark roads. Hope you get that mojo back. That snot one was rough . . .

Just telling it like it is said...

Wow I am glad ur the Dr. to teach me

Radioactive Tori said...

The part where you say "that sounds offensive" really cracked me up for some reason. The whole thing was funny, but that particular line made me laugh out loud (for real). You and Crom together are very funny. Does Crom have a lot of facial hair? When I hear his voice and see the whole scene in my head he does.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Just Telling: Yes. I am a doctor of very few subjects, but crap like this happens to be one of them.

Radio: Crom does sometimes wear a goatee. Nice detective work! : )
I'm trying to think of what I said was offensive, something "blank-tard."