Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Take a Look at This Video About Drunk Monkeys

I don't know what you learned, but I learned these things . . .

1. This had better be the cheapest resort in the world because I could never relax in a place where at any given moment a hoard of monkeys would come to raid my PiƱa coladas.  

2. The rate of monkeys that prefer not to drink, drink in moderation, and drink to excess parallels that of humans.  Wow!  The excess drinkers are 5%.   I guess that is why I only like around 5% of people and monkeys that I meet.

3. The alcoholic leaders in the monkey communities are no less respected.  I suppose I can see this.  There are a lot of powerful people out there who are functional alcoholics, and how hard is it to "function" in the monkey world?  Sleep, eat, steal booze, make baby monkeys.  Pretty great life, actually, especially when you are on a resort and shit-faced all day.


The Grand Wave said...

I was surfing in Nicaragua a few years ago and was sitting at an open air bar watching some of my buddies who were still in the water. I ordered a beer and sat down at a table on the railing of the bar and set my beer down. I turned around to look at something, and when I looked back my beer was gone. I assumed I had just knocked it off into the sand, until it started pouring down from on the roof. I jumped over the rail and looked up to see a stupid monkey had stolen my beer and had laid it on it's side and was pouring it out drinking it. I fucking hate monkeys.

Mr. Shife said...

Holy shit. I am definitely inviting some of these monkeys to my 50th birthday party. Do you think there is one kinda fat, sorta cute female monkey that the drunk monkeys try to tap when it is 2 am? Excellent find, Dr. Ken.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Grand: Monkeys stealing beer is the cutest thing in the world to me, unless it was my beer, in which case I would hate them like you. Good to see you come by! : )

Shife: Haha! Monkey last call, getting on some nasty looking monkey broad. Outstanding. I will see what I can do about transporting some drunken monkeys to the land of potatoes for the epic 50th celebration.